[Intro - Distorted Flip-Phone Ringtone, Vinyl Scratches, Low-Tuned Guitar Feedback] [Electronic keypad beeps] [Gary, Spoken] Hello? Oh, hey! Yeah, I'm in the kitchen. What do you mean, what am I making? [Distorted Male Vocal] GA-GA-GA-GA-GARY! [Gary, Shouted] GARYLICIOUS, BITCH! [Heavy Downtuned Guitar Drop, Explosive Drums] [Verse 1 - Rhythmic Male Rap, Aggressive Bouncy Delivery] Floral shirt, sunglasses on Walk in the room and the party's gone wrong Got a little something simmering away Been working on the recipe for forty-seven days Two hands, one plan, got a whole lotta flair Got a suspicious little smell coming out of the air Everybody's asking what I put in the pot I tell 'em it's a secret, and I tell 'em it's hot! Got the ranch, got the cheese, got the mystery meat Got a brand new combination that you gotta eat You can judge my style, you can question my taste But you better not complain when I'm cleaning your plate! [Pre-Chorus - Building Guitar Chugs, Gang Vocals] WHAT?! You don't like my cooking?! WHAT?! You don't like my style?! WHAT?! You think it's suspicious?! WELL, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A WHILE! [Chorus - Huge Clean and Screamed Male Vocals, Gang Shouts] GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THIS! GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! ONE BITE AND YOU'RE COMMITTED! GARYLICIOUS! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GARYLICIOUS! YOU WANTED A TASTE, NOW LISTEN! GARY! GARY! GA-GA-GA! WELCOME TO THE KITCHEN, BITCH! GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! TOO DAMN FRESH AND SUSPICIOUS! [Post-Chorus - Turntable Scratches, Distorted Vocal Samples] GA-GA-GA-GARY! WHAT'S IN THE SAUCE?! GA-GA-GA-GARY! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! [Verse 2 - Fast Aggressive Rap, Bouncy Bass and Palm-Muted Guitars] You got your little sandwiches cut into squares I'm cutting mine diagonally, nobody cares! You put your ketchup on the side of the plate I put mine in the batter, now we're cooking with fate! You think your little seasoning is better than mine? I've got seventeen spices and they're all combined! Got a secret little bottle with a handwritten label Says Gary's Original, now put it on the table! You see a little mold, I see flavor development You see a food crime, I see culinary excellence! You call the health inspector, I call that a fan He keeps coming back, he's my biggest fucking fan! [Pre-Chorus - Aggressive Male Shouts] WHO'S THE CHEF?! GARY! WHO'S THE BEST?! GARY! WHO'S GOT THE SAUCE?! GARY! WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS?! [Gary, Spoken] Well, technically, Patricia helped. [Chorus - Full Band, Layered Vocals] GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THIS! GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! ONE BITE AND YOU'RE COMMITTED! GARYLICIOUS! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GARYLICIOUS! YOU WANTED A TASTE, NOW LISTEN! GARY! GARY! GA-GA-GA! WELCOME TO THE KITCHEN, BITCH! GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! TOO DAMN FRESH AND SUSPICIOUS! [Bridge - Half-Time Groove, Heavy Bass, Quiet Scratches] [Gary, Spoken, Calm and Friendly] Listen. I don't understand the problem. I made this from scratch. I used fresh ingredients. Well... Some of them were fresh. [Music Builds] You don't appreciate the work! You don't appreciate the craft! You don't appreciate the YEARS I PUT INTO THIS RECIPE! [Breakdown - Extremely Downtuned Guitars, Double Kick Drums, Aggressive Screaming] I'VE SEEN WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOUR FOOD! RANCH ON EVERYTHING! THAT'S A CRIME AGAINST THE SAUCE! CUTTING YOUR SANDWICH DIAGONALLY?! SUSPICIOUS GEOMETRY! YOU THINK YOU CAN CRITICIZE ME?! YOU THINK YOU CAN QUESTION MY TASTE?! I'M GARY! I'M THE CHEF! AND THIS IS MY FUCKING PLACE! [Brief Silence] [Gary, Quietly] Does anybody want some chips? [Explosive Guitar Chug] [Final Chorus - Maximum Aggression, Gang Vocals, Screamed Ad-Libs] GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THIS! GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! ONE BITE AND YOU'RE COMMITTED! GARYLICIOUS! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GARYLICIOUS! YOU WANTED A TASTE, NOW LISTEN! GARY! GARY! GA-GA-GA! WELCOME TO THE KITCHEN, BITCH! GARY! GARY! GARYLICIOUS! TOO DAMN FRESH AND SUSPICIOUS! [Outro - Repeating Guitar Riff, Turntable Scratches] GA-GA-GA-GARY! GA-GA-GA-GARY! [Gary, Spoken] Oh, by the way. I brought leftovers. [Heavy Final Guitar Hit] [Gary, Whispered] They're homemade. [End]
