[Verse] He’s three feet tall with a ten-foot yell, Boots too big, but he wears ’em well, Steals your stool, your heart, your ship, Missing tooth and a busted lip. He don’t need no ocean wide, Just a puddle and a sense of pride, He sails ‘em strong, the rebel tide, A custom sword and a wicked side! [Chorus] Hey! Ho! The smallest pirate’s here! Raise your glass… is there a thimble near?! He’ll sink your ship with a two foot spear, Terror of the lower frontier! Yo! Ho! Ho! He can’t ride all rides, He’s got thunder in his eyes! Every cannon’s just your size — When you’re the storm in the smallest guy! [Verse 2] (Much younger singer) Call me elf just one more time! And I will show you how I’ll make you my — Been Shipping on for quite a while A junior hellion with a giant smile From the land of the little ones I was the biggest of my father’s sons The biggest, in fact, of everyone I was so much darn bigger than big I Was like… This Big! [Chorus] Hey! Ho! The smallest pirate’s here! Raise your glass… is there a thimble near?! He’ll sink your ship with a two foot spear, Terror of the lower frontier! Yo! Ho! So much more than fun size, He’s got the thunder in his eyes! Every cannon can just say goodbye — When you’re the storm in the smallest guy! [Bridge – Shouted gang vocals] Are you this high?! And wondering why?! Whatever you do… Don’t let ‘em tell you! What you cannot do! Just let your small fry flag fly! [Verse 3] He’s got a parrot named Mr. Big, A hairless wonder with a feathered wig Doesn’t matter: he just loves that bird “Don’t make fun or you can walk the curb!” He opens his coat, from the Baby Gap Draws something out: It’s a treasure map “Whataya say boys? I think it’s time to go Man the sails and let’s steal this show!” [Final Chorus] Hey! Ho! The smallest pirate’s here! Step aside, he can take it from here He’ll cut you down to look you in the eyes A giant scourge at even half his size Raise your sippy cup and lend an ear! From kiddie pool seas to the biggest pier, He’s the legend of the minified frontier! (Outro) So don’t be fooled by the packaging Or feats of giants that you’ve seen It’s not the size of the dog, ya see It’s what’s inside that’s worth remembering
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