I’m Totally a Responsible

“I’m Totally a Responsible Wizard” [Intro] First day at Hogwarts… Time to be a model student. Go to class… Study hard… Learn magic… Five minutes later… “Ooooh… what’s over there?” ⸻ [Verse 1] Professor said, “Please head straight to class.” I saw a shiny chest… Yeah, that plan didn’t last. Started chasing butterflies, Found a hidden cave, Forgot what the main quest Even wanted me to save. Twenty side quests later, I’m still “on my way,” Pretty sure my teacher Has been waiting all day. A talking portrait waved, A cat wanted pets, If there’s one thing I’m doing… It’s petting every cat I get. ⸻ [Chorus] I’m totally… A responsible wizard! I definitely don’t Get distracted every minute! Just one more treasure, Just one more spell, How did I end up On the opposite side of the map as well? I’m totally… Passing all my classes… Eventually… Probably! ⸻ [Verse 2] Learned Accio yesterday, Now everything’s mine, If it’s not nailed down, I’m pulling it this time. Levioso! Everybody floats! Including that poor goblin… Sorry about that, folks. I walked into combat Feeling super brave, Then rolled off a cliff… Could not be saved. My broom is amazing, Flying way too fast, Until I accidentally Meet a tree at full blast. ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Can somebody explain… Why every cave Contains exactly One hundred spiders?! Nope. ⸻ [Chorus] I’m totally… A responsible wizard! I definitely don’t Run screaming from giant spiders! Just one more Merlin Trial, Just one more chest, I’ve spent six straight hours Avoiding the main quest! I’m totally… Saving the wizarding world… …After I loot this house. ⸻ [Bridge] “Your gear slots are full.” Again?! How?! I literally sold everything Ten minutes ago! ⸻ [Rap Verse] Got potions, Got plants, Got magical gear, Walked into the Forbidden Forest Like I had no fear. Five seconds later, I changed my mind, Because something with eight legs Was suddenly behind. Revelio! Every… Three… Seconds. I don’t even know What the world looks like anymore Without blue outlines. ⸻ [Verse 3] Walked through Hogsmeade, Thinking I’d shop, Left with five scarves That I absolutely did not need to buy. My Room of Requirement Started out neat, Now it’s full of magical creatures, Plants, and way too many seats. Professor says, “Excellent progress today!” Meanwhile I’ve ignored The main story For approximately… Thirty-seven hours. ⸻ [Final Chorus] I’m totally… A responsible wizard! I promise I’ll finish The story one day! Just one more side quest, One more broom race, One more ancient magic Thrown right in somebody’s face! I’m totally… Graduating Hogwarts… …Eventually. Maybe. ⸻ [Outro] “Okay… I’ll do the main quest now.” Sees another treasure cave. “…That can wait.” 🧙‍♀️✨😂🧹 “Revelio!” “Seriously… stop casting Revelio every five seconds!” 😂