Rock of Marriage (Tara Turner) by GM Jon

There’s only one thing I want to change about you And that’s your last name. You know what I did before I got married? Anything I wanted to. ‘Do you believe in sex before marriage, vicar?’ ‘Not if it delays the service’. Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, You haven’t wasted the whole day. My wife and I were happy for twenty years.... Then we met. .. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man Your wife would have preferred. People have been marrying And bringing up children For centuries now. Nothing has ever come of it. If it weren’t for marriage Husbands and wives would have to fight with complete strangers. Marriage is the most advanced form Of warfare in the modern world. All husbands are alike But they have different faces so you can tell them apart. My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much you know. Aren’t they a lovely couple? He is willing to die for her and she is willing to let him. I’d never be unfaithful to my wife For the reason that I love my house very much.
 The only reason my wife had an orgasm is so that she will have something else to moan about. Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately. What is the only thing divorce proves? Whose mother was right in the first place. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was god, and I didn’t. Divorce is painful. There’s an easy way to save yourself a lot of trouble. Just find a woman you hate And buy her a house My ex divorced me Because she said I treated her like a maid. But even the judge agreed That she should keep the house.