Lanny Deal — “I Sat There 2 Long” **Response to “Not Okay” by AmurikanInfidel 12Gauge858 Music [Intro spoken, dark felt piano, low cello breathing under the cab] Yeah… This ain’t one of them songs where a man says he had it all figured out. This is for the brother sitting behind the wheel tonight with the engine off… phone face down… and a note folded up beside a half-empty cup of gas-station coffee. I know that seat. I know that silence. Lord… You know I do. [Verse 1] Rain was crawling down the windshield like it had nowhere else to go Diesel smell still on my jacket from a thousand miles of road Had my boots on the floorboard mud dried around the heel Had my hands wrapped round that steering wheel like it was the only thing I could feel There was a picture of my little brother tucked above the dash I still hear Mama crying every time I look at that old photograph He left this world too early and I carried what I couldn’t say Told everybody I was solid while I was breaking every day That night the cab got smaller than any prison I had known And every mile I ever ran came sitting with me all alone [Pre-Chorus] I wasn’t praying pretty I wasn’t quoting no verse I was just a tired man whispering “God, please get here first” Cause the dark don’t always holler sometimes it don’t make a sound It just sits there in the passenger seat and waits for you to break down [Chorus — emotional, sustained notes] I sat there too long with my heart on the floooooor I sat there too long like I couldn’t take no mooooore I had tears on that letter and my soul barely holding on Lord, You sent a stranger to my window when I sat there too long Too loooooong… I sat there too long [Verse 2] Headlights hit the mirror then faded back to black I thought about my son’s voice and the words I can’t get back “Tell my Dad I’m sorry and I love him,” came through that line I was somewhere on the highway when God froze my heart in time I had carried that final message like a chain across my chest Tried to outdrive all the hurting but grief don’t let you rest Then my marriage turned to ashes twenty-three years in the wind She said I was too good of a man but weak for feeling it within So I learned to smile in truck stops learned to laugh when brothers joked But that night behind that windshield was the night my silence broke [Pre-Chorus 2] I wasn’t looking for attention I wasn’t trying to be seen I was a grown man in a Peterbilt begging Heaven to intervene And right when I stopped talking cause words had all run dry Some knuckles tapped that window on the driver’s side [Chorus — bigger, voice cracking but strong] I sat there too long with my heart on the floooooor I sat there too long like I couldn’t take no mooooore I had tears on that letter and my soul barely holding on Lord, You sent a stranger to my window when I sat there too long Too loooooong… I sat there too long [Bridge — spoken/sung, piano nearly alone] He said, “Brother… you okay in there?” And I lied the way men lie when pain is sitting on their chest. I said, “Yeah… I’m alright.” He didn’t move. He just stood there in the rain with one hand on that black Peterbilt door like God had parked him there and told him, “Don’t you leave yet.” Then he said, “No, brother… look at me. Are you okay?” And I broke. Not loud. Not pretty. Just broke. I said, “No… I’m not.” And somewhere between that window and my shaking hands… the Lord stepped in that cab. [Bridge 2 — sung, cello rises] That man called my Mama from the number on my phone Said, “Ma’am, I found your boy here and he don’t need to be alone” Then Mama’s voice came trembling through that cracked-up speaker line “Lanny, baby, you okay? Some man called and said you needed help tonight” She said, “Come home, baby don’t you hang up, I’m right here I’ll stay on this phone with you till them headlights disappear” And I ain’t ashamed to say it I cried like I was ten Cause sometimes God saves a grown man by sending Mama back again [Final Chorus — full emotional release, sustained notes, background male hums only] I sat there too long with my heart on the floooooor I sat there too long like I couldn’t take no mooooore I had my pain in a letter had my life barely holding on Lord, You sent mercy to my window when I sat there too long Brother… I sat there too loooooong Oh Lord… I sat there too loooooong But You knocked through a stranger You spoke through my Mama You reached in that cab before the dark could drag me under I sat there too long but I’m still here singing this song God had one more knock left in Heaven when I sat there too long [Outro — quiet, Lanny emotionally singing unto the Lord] Mmm… Lord, I know that night could’ve went another way. That road could’ve kept my name. That cab could’ve held my last prayer. Mama could’ve been calling and I wouldn’t have answered. But You saw me. You saw that note. You saw that wheel. You saw that man who didn’t know how to a
