[Intro - accordion and fiddle] [Drunken Male Shout] RIGHT, YOU LOT! [Gang Shout] HEAVE! [Male Lead] ONE, TWO, THREE! [Verse 1 - Lead and Gang] What shall we do with the drunken crackhead? What shall we do with the drunken crackhead? What shall we do with the drunken crackhead? Early in the morning! [Gang Chorus] HEY! HO! Up he gets and down he goes! HEY! HO! Nobody knows where his trousers went! [Verse 2] What shall we do with the shouting crackhead? What shall we do with the shouting crackhead? What shall we do with the shouting crackhead? Early in the morning! Put him outside with a traffic cone! Put him outside with a traffic cone! Put him outside with a traffic cone! Tell him that's his new home! [Gang Chorus] HEY! HO! Round the harbour off he goes! HEY! HO! Arguing loudly with a fishing boat! [Verse 3] What shall we do with the dancing crackhead? What shall we do with the dancing crackhead? What shall we do with the dancing crackhead? Early in the morning! Give him a broom and call it a fiddle! Give him a broom and call it a fiddle! Give him a broom and call it a fiddle! Watch him play the middle! [Spoken Male] THAT'S NOT HOW YOU HOLD A FIDDLE! [Drunken Male] I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! [Gang] NO YOU DON'T! [Instrumental Break - wild fiddle and accordion] [Verse 4] What shall we do with the hungry crackhead? What shall we do with the hungry crackhead? What shall we do with the hungry crackhead? Early in the morning! Give him a pie but hide the gravy! Give him a pie but hide the gravy! Give him a pie but hide the gravy! Now he's joined the Navy! [Gang] WHAT?! [Male Lead] DON'T ASK! [Gang Chorus] HEY! HO! Someone find his other shoe! HEY! HO! Last we saw it, it was in the loo! [Verse 5] What shall we do with the angry crackhead? What shall we do with the angry crackhead? What shall we do with the angry crackhead? Early in the morning! Tell him the pigeon stole his money! Tell him the pigeon stole his money! Tell him the pigeon stole his money! Now he's chasing twenty! [Background Shouts] GET THAT PIGEON! HE'S GOT MY WALLET! THAT'S A SEAGULL, YOU IDIOT! [Verse 6 - Faster] What shall we do with the naked crackhead? What shall we do with the naked crackhead? What shall we do with the naked crackhead? Early in the morning! Give him a barrel, call it fashion! Give him a barrel, call it fashion! Give him a barrel, call it fashion! Send him down the catwalk! [Gang Chant] BARREL! BARREL! BARREL! BARREL! [Breakdown - stomps and table banging] [Male Lead] WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE... [Gang] CRACKHEAD! [Male Lead] WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE... [Gang] CRACKHEAD! [Male Lead] WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE... [Gang] CRACKHEAD! [All] EARLY IN THE MOOOOORNING! [Final Chorus - entire pub] HEY! HO! Up he gets and down he goes! HEY! HO! Nobody knows where his trousers went! HEY! HO! Round the harbour off he goes! HEY! HO! Somebody please take him home! [Chaotic Outro] [Male Shout] WHERE'S ME BOOT?! [Another Male] YOU'RE WEARING IT! [Male Shout] WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?! [Gang] IN THE LOO! [Huge Laughter] [Accordion Sting] [End]
