Verse 1 Rolled into town on a rainy night Quest board hanging in the lantern light “Bandits north and a missing sheep” Three hours later, the mayor’s deceased Wizard touched something clearly cursed Rogue stole everything not nailed first Barbarian kicked down every door And the bard started a tavern war ⸻ Pre-Chorus Every plan starts simple Every plan goes wrong Somehow we’re still standing And somehow moving on ⸻ Chorus We’re murder hobos Saving the world one crime at a time Every kingdom’s got our faces On a wanted poster line Kick the door down Ask questions later Collateral damage by design We’re murder hobos And business is booming tonight We’re murder hobos And business is booming tonight ⸻ Verse 2 Quest giver said “be diplomatic” That lasted almost three whole minutes Paladin tried to calm things down Then somebody burned half the town Dragon slain? Yeah, technically Castle standing? Not visibly Treasure secured? We did our best Ignore the smoke and the arrest requests ⸻ Pre-Chorus Every warning ignored Every red flag missed If bad decisions gave experience We’d all be level twenty by this point ⸻ Chorus We’re murder hobos Saving the world one crime at a time Every kingdom’s got our faces On a wanted poster line Kick the door down Ask questions later Collateral damage by design We’re murder hobos And business is booming tonight We’re murder hobos And business is booming tonight Eva: Counterpoint. Rowan: I’m listening. Eva: The dragon’s dead. ⸻ Breakdown Nat twenty! Kick the door! Take the loot! Start a war! Wrong address! Same result! If it’s glowing— TAKE IT! ⸻ Final Chorus We’re murder hobos Heroes of extremely questionable means Every town we save somehow Ends up becoming a crime scene Raise your tankard Raise your weapon Raise your standards nevermore We’re murder hobos And we’re already looking for the next door ⸻ Outro Wanted in seven kingdoms… Banned from three taverns… Accidentally started a cult… Would do it again.
