(ayy) 午夜厨房, no sleep, no peace Big plate, big blade, light grease Taiwan night market in the house 大雞排… 大雞排… 大雞排, 大雞排 Make that big-ass chicken slap, no lie 大雞排, 大雞排 Crispy loud, hear that crunch outside 大雞排, 大雞排 slap that boob, make it open up wide 大雞排, 大雞排 numbuh one flavor, make the colonel cry Yo— Grab two chicken boobs, don’t be timid, don’t stall Butterfly that bird, like China with the wall Slice it from the side, open up, let it breathe Then beat that meat flat till it’s thin as a sheet (Stack that meat!) slap that boob Smack that slab flatten that rack then hit em with the dab Use the back of the knife or a mallet if you sane But if ya beat too hard, well bitch you lost the game Ya want it broad, ya want it thin, like some face-sized concession wanna wear it like a coat, got that big chick obsession Soy sauce slide in, let the salt talk to skin Rice wine splash, make that bad chick sin Gar-Garlic go crazy, twist yo meat make it spin Little ginger if you got it, wake the dead in the mix Sugar for the backbeat, just a little, not a brick White pepper just a pinch, five-spice whisper real mean M-S-G if it needs backup, make the whole thing obscene Rub that demon all over Massage that shit real good Let it sit in the cold box Think about it, then get wood Marinate thirty minutes minimum, longer if you wise Hour or two gets louder, overnight weaponized Let the fridge do wurk while you plot that crust No shortcuts, 三八— crispy chicken is a must 大雞排, 大雞排 Make that big-ass chicken slap, no lie 大雞排, 大雞排 Crispy loud, hear that crunch outside 大雞排, 大雞排 slap that boob, make it open up wide 大雞排, 大雞排 numbuh one flavor, make the colonel cry Now the glue crew pull up, binder gang on deck Crack an egg, egg white mostly, let it cling to the flesh Cornstarch in the party, help the coating behave Not too much—just enough to make a crunchy-ass grave Mix that slime in Get it tacky, not soup You ain’t making pancake batter coat it real nice, and try to not splatter Next comes the real boss, the kingdom, the starch Coarse sweet potato flakes, that’s the sacred part Not that dusty baby powder, not that timid white sand You need that rocky little rubble for the crust to expand Dump it on a tray, make a snowy-ass bed Press the chicken in hard till there’s no bald head Pack it in with your palms, let the crags stand up Every bump, every shard gonna fry and erupt No naked patches No smooth-boy skin This cutlet need armor Let the crunch lock in Let it rest for a minute while the oil gets hot Heavy pot, neutral oil, fill the beast to the spot You want enough depth so the slab can float free Not half-drowned trash, that’s some broke-ass 大雞 Listen up, 笨蛋 Don’t crowd the pan One boob at a time That’s the law of the land Heat that oil steady Medium-high, for the tit Too cold gets greasy Too hot tastes like shit Lower that titan in slow, don’t splash your face Let it rumble in the oil, let it find its place First fry builds the body, cooks the chicken through Golden, rigid, bubbling, lookin’ mean as hell too Flip if you need it Watch the crust get loud When it’s crisp and cooked then pull that beast, get applause from the crowd Let it rest a moment, let the oil drip out Then crank the heat back up, this the second-round bout Double fry, mob style, now the shell gets rude Extra brittle, extra savage, extra don’t-play-food Back in the fryer Quick hit, not long Just enough to wake the crust Till the crunch gets strong Now yank it out heroic, let it rain on the rack This the part where weak snacks know they’ll never fight back Still hot? Good. Hit it now with the dust Season while it’s sizzling, man I’m ’bout to bust White pepper first, for the punch in the nose Five-spice real light, don’t bulldoze the whole show Chili powder if you nasty, paprika for glow Tiny pinch of sugar if you wanna make a show Salt to wake it up MSG if you wild Shake that bag like the bass in this beat Taiwan style 大雞排, 大雞排 Make that big-ass chicken slap, no lie 大雞排, 大雞排 Crispy loud, hear that crunch outside 大雞排, 大雞排 slap that boob, make it open up wide 大雞排, 大雞排 numbuh one flavor, make the colonel cry Chop it if you want, but the real ones know Whole cutlet, face-sized, give your friends a show Garlic on your fingers, got that spice in your lung 大雞排 made right, now the song got sung 大雞排… 大雞排… Crunch so loud, neighbors callin’ the cops
