you deployed to prod on a friday (revised)

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[Intro: off-kilter piano, sparse]

[Verse 1: conversational, breathing room]
My C-T-O said "I'm pushing it live"
I said "it's Friday"
He said "exactly, nobody's watching"
but isn't that when everyone's watching?
And he said "trust me", with a smile

[Pause]

I trusted him
Because he said it with confidence

[Verse 2: slightly faster, breathing room]
He ships to prod at midnight
Like a man posting love letters
To a codebase that can't love him back
But also can't say no
I asked "did we test it"
He said "testing implies doubt,
that's not a growth mindset, Sarah"

[Pause]

Guess I don't know what a *growth mindset* is
Wasn't sure that's something a *grown man* says

[Chorus: piano opens, dramatic]
Something something, deployment
Sounds fine
Maybe broken
I don't know what went to prod, but the Slack is full of fire emojis
Something something rollback
Sounds smart
Maybe too late
The server or my confidence, either way it's Friday night

[Verse 3: quieter, the fallout, breathing room]
On Saturday the app was down
By Sunday it was trending
Not the good kind of trending, that's not for us
People asking "what happened", dropping 1-star reviews,
writing "No" in a thread and "it makes a high-pitched noise?"

[Pause]

My C-T-O said "that's edge cases"
I said "Tyler there are four thousand of them"
He said "most are just one core bug, it's not that bad"

[Verse 4: sinking, breathing room]
The users are leaving
Not dramatically
Just quietly
The way everyone always leaves
First the power users
Then the ones who wrote tutorials
Then the ones who defended us on Reddit
Which means we've lost Reddit
Which means it's over
But nobody told the board yet

[Pre-Chorus: building]
Every day's a fire
Everyone is stressed
Tyler says we'll fix it Monday
Monday is a thousand years from now

[Chorus: fuller, bass walk]
Something something patch
Not sure
Maybe hotfix
I don't know what a rollback is but Tyler says we don't need one
Something something stable
It was
Maybe wasn't
The build or the company, either way I'm losing sleep

[Bridge: voice and piano, fragile]
He pushed on a Friday
Because he wanted the weekend
To see if it held
Like releasing a bird
And hoping it doesn't come back

[Pause]

It came back
It came back as four thousand bug reports
And a Hacker News thread
And not in the good way
There is no good way
To be on Hacker News

[Verse 5: slow, honest, breathing room]
I looked at the deploy log
I didn't understand the deploy log
But I could see the timestamps
All after midnight
All one person
All Tyler
Shipping in the dark
Like a lover in a public park
Who knows he shouldn't be there
But the mass of machines can't tell him no
And nobody else is watching
He thinks

[Pause]

[Chorus: big, legato]
Something something Friday
Not sure
Maybe fatal
I don't know what he shipped but the thread just says "No"
Something something confidence
He had it
I didn't
Not one to play the doubter, still should have said "wait"

[Outro: piano alone, fading]
On Monday Tyler said "I fixed it"
I said "what was it"
He said a word I didn't understand
And I nodded

[Pause]

That's what I do now
I nod at things I don't understand
From boys who ship at midnight
And call it "moving fast"

[Long Pause]

The users are quiet now
Not the good kind of quiet

[Pause]

Something something Friday

[End]

3305/7500

[Intro: off-kilter piano, sparse] [Verse 1: conversational, breathing room] My C-T-O said "I'm pushing it live" I said "it's Friday" He said "exactly, nobody's watching" but isn't that when everyone's watching? And he said "trust me", with a smile [Pause] I trusted him Because he said it with confidence [Verse 2: slightly faster, breathing room] He ships to prod at midnight Like a man posting love letters To a codebase that can't love him back But also can't say no I asked "did we test it" He said "testing implies doubt, that's not a growth mindset, Sarah" [Pause] Guess I don't know what a *growth mindset* is Wasn't sure that's something a *grown man* says [Chorus: piano opens, dramatic] Something something, deployment Sounds fine Maybe broken I don't know what went to prod, but the Slack is full of fire emojis Something something rollback Sounds smart Maybe too late The server or my confidence, either way it's Friday night [Verse 3: quieter, the fallout, breathing room] On Saturday the app was down By Sunday it was trending Not the good kind of trending, that's not for us People asking "what happened", dropping 1-star reviews, writing "No" in a thread and "it makes a high-pitched noise?" [Pause] My C-T-O said "that's edge cases" I said "Tyler there are four thousand of them" He said "most are just one core bug, it's not that bad" [Verse 4: sinking, breathing room] The users are leaving Not dramatically Just quietly The way everyone always leaves First the power users Then the ones who wrote tutorials Then the ones who defended us on Reddit Which means we've lost Reddit Which means it's over But nobody told the board yet [Pre-Chorus: building] Every day's a fire Everyone is stressed Tyler says we'll fix it Monday Monday is a thousand years from now [Chorus: fuller, bass walk] Something something patch Not sure Maybe hotfix I don't know what a rollback is but Tyler says we don't need one Something something stable It was Maybe wasn't The build or the company, either way I'm losing sleep [Bridge: voice and piano, fragile] He pushed on a Friday Because he wanted the weekend To see if it held Like releasing a bird And hoping it doesn't come back [Pause] It came back It came back as four thousand bug reports And a Hacker News thread And not in the good way There is no good way To be on Hacker News [Verse 5: slow, honest, breathing room] I looked at the deploy log I didn't understand the deploy log But I could see the timestamps All after midnight All one person All Tyler Shipping in the dark Like a lover in a public park Who knows he shouldn't be there But the mass of machines can't tell him no And nobody else is watching He thinks [Pause] [Chorus: big, legato] Something something Friday Not sure Maybe fatal I don't know what he shipped but the thread just says "No" Something something confidence He had it I didn't Not one to play the doubter, still should have said "wait" [Outro: piano alone, fading] On Monday Tyler said "I fixed it" I said "what was it" He said a word I didn't understand And I nodded [Pause] That's what I do now I nod at things I don't understand From boys who ship at midnight And call it "moving fast" [Long Pause] The users are quiet now Not the good kind of quiet [Pause] Something something Friday [End]

0/500