(I seen your cunt on the internet) (No image more scarring have I met) Hey Reddit, my name’s Ellen Woodbury If you don’t want jumpscares you better go scurry My humor’s so shit, it’s worse than Baby Yoda My curves are so small I learn origami for yoga Did you know that I’m a mail order bride I fit in an envelope and I’m going on a ride Flatter than gold leaf, I could be a wrapper And if you make fun of me, I’ll also be a raper Hey Reddit, my name’s Ellen Woodbury No one’s finishing to me, not even a furry My favorite hobby is starting worthless beef Just like what’s down under, looking like a coral reef If I get an award, it’s for best attention whore And the other kind of whore, do I need to tell more No, I don’t care if I have a husband and kids Bring a microscope, ‘cus my boobs are going on bid! (I seen your cunt on the internet) (Sue me, I dare you, I’ll bet) Hey Reddit, my name’s Ellen Woodbury You bigot, my comics are way more than a slurry Even though I just pander by mocking Trump and Musk And the thoughtless midwits, they’ll consoom it ‘til dusk When I’m outta sexy costumes, I go to plan two Stealing from my kids, finding ways to fit through I admire my cats and how they’re straight chonkers Because the concept of gooning to me is pure bonkers Hey Reddit, my name’s Ellen Woodbury I’ll never be self aware, so don’t worry That would stop me from sneaking out for Tyrone The reason anyone donates to me is unknown
