[Intro] I learned how to smile before I learned how to ask for help. yo... la... ei... [Verse 1] I make jokes at funerals so nobody checks my pulse. Crack a line, crack a grin, hide the fracture in the vowels. I’m the punchline that lands early, before the thought gets sharp. If I laugh first, you won’t hear how dark it got. I say yo-la-ei like it’s nothing, just a syllable, not a scream, but every jump in pitch is me dodging what I mean. [Pre-Chorus] I learned timing instead of honesty. Comedy’s just compression for what’s killing me. (Yo-yo-yo-) [Chorus] I’m fine, I swear, hear the major chords? I’m smiling so hard it almost works. (yo-la-EI, yo-la-EI see? I’m lighter than I look.) I joke, I sing, I dodge the question, laugh-track loud, confession muted. If I sound okay, please don’t listen closer. [Verse 2] I answer “how are you?” like it’s improv night. Give them something clever, never give them a sign. I turn spirals into one-liners, turn dread into bits. Depression hates sarcasm, it slips when it hits. yo-de-lo-yeah right said with a shrug in my throat. It’s easier to yodel than say “I can’t cope.” [Pre-Chorus 2] If pain had a tempo I’d speed it up. If silence asked questions I’d joke it shut. [Chorus] I’m good, I swear, can’t you tell? I harmonize the cracks so they don’t yell. (yo-la-EI, yo-la-oh pretty mask, ugly note.) If laughing’s a language, I’m fluent in lies. Don’t clap too late, I might stop in real time. [Bridge] If I ever go quiet that’s when you should worry. Noise is just fear in a party costume, sorry. (Yo... la... ei...) [Breakdown] yo-la-ei-la, yo-le-yo-la hide-the-hurt-in-the-ha-ha-ha ei-yo-la-ri, ei-yo-lay joke-it-away, joke-it-away yo-de-lo-di, yo-de-la-doubt say-it-too-fast so it can’t get out laugh-lag-lip-crack, pitch-slip-pain flip-the-voice till I feel okay (YA-HA!) (Ntz-chka-ntz!) YO-LA-EI-AHHH! [Final Chorus] I’m not fine, I swear, that’s the bit. I dress the wound so you don’t see it. yo-la-ei... yo-la-ei... this one actually hurts. If I stop making jokes, please stay. That’s me running out of ways to keep myself safe. [Outro] I wasn’t joking. I was surviving. ...yo... la... ei...
