The Goblin King Beneath the Floor [Verse 1] There’s a scratching in my bedroom, Three knocks beneath my bed, I blamed it on the plumbing… Then the plumbing said, “Who’s dead?” There’s a candle in the hallway That I swear I never lit, And a little green hand waved up at me— Then vanished pretty quick. [Pre-Chorus] I called my dad, he shook his head, He said, “Kid, go back to bed.” I said, “There’s something underneath!” He said, “Probably mice.” I said, “It has a crown!” He said, “...Probably mice.” [Chorus] There’s a Goblin King beneath my floor, Sitting on a throne behind a secret door! He lives in this house, yeah, he pays no rent, He steals my socks and calls it government! Goblin King! Ruler of the crawl-space night! Goblin King! He’s got glowing eyes and a bite! When the moon comes up and the floorboards creak, He whispers my name… Then asks, “Got anything to eat?” [Verse 2] He’s got a throne made out of bottle caps, A crown of rusty keys, A tiny goblin butler carrying A tray of moldy cheese. He keeps a map of all the rooms, He knows where everything goes, He even put a sign downstairs: “PLEASE WIPE YOUR FEET, YOU GROSS.” My toothbrush disappeared last Tuesday, My cereal’s gone at night, And something in the laundry room Keeps asking for Wi-Fi. [Pre-Chorus] I heard him laughing through the vent, Like he’s having fifty cents. Then he yelled, “WHO TOOK MY REMOTE?” I yelled, “I DON’T KNOW!” He yelled, “THEN YOU’RE A FOOL!” I said, “...Okay, sorry.” [Chorus] There’s a Goblin King beneath my floor, Sitting on a throne behind a secret door! He lives in this house, yeah, he pays no rent, He writes scary notes with bad handwriting! Goblin King! Master of the midnight fright! Goblin King! He’s six feet tall—on Tuesday night! When the floorboards shake and the cold winds blow, He crawls from below and says, “HEY! Keep it down! I’m trying to sleep!” [Bridge] One night I peeked beneath the floor, And saw a kingdom down below— A thousand goblins in pajamas Doing synchronized disco. The Goblin King stood up and shouted, “WHO DARES ENTER MY DOMAIN?” I said, “Sorry, sir, my phone fell down.” He said, “...Oh. Yeah. Here.” [Breakdown] Then he leaned real close and whispered: “I have one little rule…” I said, “What?” He said, “NO LOUD MUSIC AFTER NINE.” I said, “But you’re literally a monster.” He said, “QUIET. IT’S A SCHOOL NIGHT.” [Final Chorus] There’s a Goblin King beneath my floor, And now I think he’s knocking on the door! He lives in this house, but he’s not so bad— Except he ate the pizza that my mom just had! Goblin King! Ruler of the creepy crawl! Goblin King! He’s watching through the bathroom wall! So lock your door and check your sheets, Don’t leave snacks around your feet— Because somewhere underneath your room, Beneath the boards, beneath the gloom… He’s sitting on his throne… And waiting for your Wi-Fi password. [Outro – whispered] Three knocks… Two knocks… One knock… “Hey…” “Do you have any chips?”
0/500