After The Applause there isnt any applause just the noise I make for myself to pretend someone actually cares about my health soooo I dont write being brave I write cos Im hurt cos my world feels small and the universe wont stay quiet I open a blank note like its somewhere to hide shit tell it things I wouldnt even tell someone who loved me in private I try an make it look like a song so it doesnt look like Im crying even if I never post it thats what makes it exciting After The Applause there isnt any applause just the noise I make for myself to pretend someone actually cares about my health and I just sit here staring at the keyboard on my screen trying to find a way to get it out of me Im not trying to make music here I just need somewhere to bleed cos After The Applause its just me again with no typing to hide in and no fake ending to pretend I just know I need to let it go but Im struggling to make it leave I hate to read what my hands been writing because the writing always comes back to me I can tell myself this is nothing just words I placed on a screen just another stupid note no ones ever gonna see but I of all people should know when Im lying Im writing this shit to try and stop me from crying to rehearse a line in my mind for when someone asks if im alright but really it doesnt even work lately most of these song I dont even play hundreds of tracks Ill never hear back at this point theirs thousands lose in my suno workspaces I should save them in a folder tell them Im locking them away bury them in my archive to never see the light of day cos After The Applause there isnt any applause just the noise I make for myself to pretend someone actually cares about my health and I just sit here staring at the keyboard on my screen trying to find a way to get it out of me Im not trying to make music here I just need somewhere to bleed cos After The Applause its just me again with no typing to hide in and no fake ending to pretend I just know I need to let it go but Im struggling to make it leave I hate to read what my hands been writing because the writing always comes back to me so... here I am then Ive open it again because what else can I do I dont wanna say this shit out loud to a stranger in a room I dont want the pain to be explained or some twat to try unpack I just wanna put the pain somewhere deep where I dont have to answer back so I came back to write another line to tell myself that its control like if I make it sound alright it wont eat into my soul fuck dude, even for you thats pathetic but mate, thats all Ive got for a minute while Im writing I can breathe and for a long time most days I could not so after the applause when it hurts like it does I still go back to these notes because the keys dont make me touch things I cant carry on thinking about the ones I wanna kill so Ill just keep surviving through writing and convincing myself Im forging a skill cos After The Applause there isnt any applause just the noise I make for myself to pretend someone actually cares about my health and I just sit here staring at the keyboard on my screen trying to find a way to get it out of me Im not trying to make music here I just need somewhere to bleed cos After The Applause its just me again with no typing to hide in and no fake ending to pretend I just know I need to let it go but Im struggling to make it leave I hate to read what my hands been writing because the writing always comes back to me © 2026 Hotwife of Pi. All rights reserved. All lyrics are original works written and published under the name Hotwife of Pi and are protected by applicable copyright law. No part of these lyrics may be copied, reproduced, republished, distributed, adapted, performed, recorded, transmitted, used for artificial intelligence or machine-learning training, or otherwise exploited, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from the copyright holder, except where permitted by law.
