[Intro] [Spoken:] Okay. New outfit. Feeling confident. Feeling powerful. Feeling like I have my life together. …Where are the pockets?? [Verse 1] [Talk-Sing] Got a brand new dress today Tried it on, it fit just right Did a little spin around I was feeling like my life was fine Went to put my phone away Went to put my keys inside That’s when I discovered This dress was built on lies [Pre-Chorus] No place for my hands No place for my phone I have to carry everything I guess I live like this now [Chorus] [Big, Dramatic] NO POCKETS! NO POCKETS!! How am I supposed to live like this?! NO POCKETS! NO POCKETS!! This is a fabric-based betrayal! [Gang Vocals:] (Where’s my phone?!) (Where’s my keys?!) (Why’s this dress attacking me?!) [Verse 2] [Talk-Sing] Fake pockets sewn on the side Just for decoration, why? That’s not a pocket, that’s a lie That’s emotional damage in disguise Now I’m carrying seven things Lip gloss, wallet, keys, and rings I could’ve bought a tiny purse But honestly that’s even worse [Chorus] NO POCKETS! NO POCKETS!! I have nowhere to put my stuff! NO POCKETS! NO POCKETS!! Why are women’s clothes like this?! [Gang Vocals:] Hold my phone! (NO!) Hold my keys! (NO!) I am not built to carry things! [Bridge] [Dramatic, Spoken Monologue:] Men have pockets. Big pockets. Deep pockets. Snack-sized pockets. Phone, wallet, keys, dreams, hopes — all in the pockets. What do we get? A fake pocket. A decorative pocket. A suggestion of a pocket. This is a scam. [Break — Quiet to Build] [Spoken:] I just want… A place… To put my phone… [Band EXPLODES back in] NO POCKETS! NO POCKETS!! This outfit has betrayed me! NO POCKETS! NO POCKETS!! And now I have to carry things! [Gang Vocals:] Where’s my phone?! Where’s my keys?! This is a TRAGEDY! [Outro] [Spoken:] Oh my gosh. It has pockets. [Angelic choir moment] Never mind. Best dress I’ve ever owned.
