[Verse 1] He came from the holler, now he’s rubbin’ gold toes Trump says “sit,” and JD knows From Rust Belt rage to Mar-a-Lago rugs Now he’s sniffin’ truth like designer drugs He's got eyeliner for days, denial in his teeth Preaching values while he tongues elite feet Used to write books, now he writes tweets And tucks himself in under oligarch sheets [Chorus – Glam punk energy, finger snaps optional] Oh JD! JD! Tell us who you wanna be! Hillbilly elegy or MAGA’s little tea? Are you bi for power, or just confused? You kiss the ring, now kiss the boots! Suckin’ power, sleepin’ on couches Selling the truth for fascist vouchers [Verse 2] He stares at Tucker like he’s seen the light Flirts with doom in broad daylight Whispers sweet nothings to the ruling class While democracy coughs up broken glass He ain’t gay — but he’s gay-coded doom With a Reagan shrine in his panic room You wanna come out, JD? That’s cool Just don’t drag the whole damn world down with you [Bridge – Spoken, dramatic piano under] We’re not judging the eyeliner, babe Or the way you sit on every lap with a flag We’re judging the way you help ruin lives While pretending your lips are clean [Final Chorus – Choir + kazoo + breakdown] Oh JD! JD! You don’t have to lie to me You love the leather, the boots, the throne Just stop pretending you did it alone Suckin’ power, sleepin’ on couches Screaming “family!” while the system crumbles You could’ve been bold, you could’ve been free But now you’re just Trump’s decorative JD
