AFTER HAVING IT ALL [INTRO] Shit… Life is chances and changes, and changing shit around. But who stops to count the blessings when they never stop coming down? I was born where the impossible was ordinary life— money, danger, power, secrets, love and loyalty for life. [VERSE 1] We never checked a price tag, never asked what something cost. Blessed without conditions, even winning carried loss. Secret royalty in our bloodline, silence guarded every name. Inside, outside of the circle, our loyalty stayed the same. It wasn’t normal, it was deeper— more than words could guarantee. From my people straight toward me, then returned from me faithfully. Good women shared my life with me— sometimes one, sometimes two, sometimes three there at one time; every fantasy came true. Money, danger, women, power, everything was lived full speed. When you’ve had the maximum since birth, what more is there left to see? To this day the blessings haven’t stopped, but nothing shocks me like it should. Everything feels simple now; even astonishing feels understood. [CHORUS] I live like a supergiant, burning brighter than them all. I’m not scared of having nothing— I’m scared I’ll die after having it all. No me asusta la pobreza, ni perder, ni fracasar; me da miedo tenerlo todo y no tener qué desear. That star lived hotter, bigger, brighter until its wonder disappeared. Then it exploded from the inside— and that ending is what I fear. [VERSE 2 — THE TWIST] But that’s only half the story; here’s the truth behind the shine: everyone I ever loved the deepest only stayed a little time. Both my grandpas died before me, before I ever saw the light. Big Gollón—the marksman, bounty hunter— lived through legends larger than life. My favorite uncle, my first best friend, took his own life when I was young. When they buried my favorite uncle, they buried the safest love I’d known. Dad and I had started fishing; then prison tore him from my view. “It’s okay, best friend, I’ll wait here. I’ll do everything to get you through. You know I love your hugs and babying, so don’t take long—come home soon.” Then the judge said thirty-five to life, and numbers learned to wound. Mom remarried; Aldo moved in— my roommate and my compita. We did stupid shit together until a gunshot took him from me. Twenty-nine years, prayer after prayer, God unlocked my father’s door. I said, “Finally, he’s home now; I have my best friend once more.” But he died within the year, before I made it for that hug. Twenty-nine years spent waiting; one free year was not enough. Best friend, when my road is over, please wait for me up there. I waited here like I had promised; save that hug—we’ll finish there. [INTERLUDE] De la pluma del Veinteuno… [BRIDGE] God, You tell them how I begged You— not for money, not for fame. I only asked to feel the closeness of a true best friend again. You answered me with Cyn; she became my closest friend, my girlfriend, lover, then my wife— I thought the losing finally ended. Mi mejor amiga y amante, mi mujer, mi hogar, mi paz. Por fin pensé: “Ésta se queda. Ésta no se irá jamás.” But tonight’s my last night with her; Cyn is leaving me for good. She’s moving on with her own life, the way she feels she should. No prison bars, no grave between us, no bullet stole her breath. She’s alive and choosing life without me— a pain I had not met. [BREAKDOWN] All my life I had abundance, but the people were the cost. Everything I owned kept growing; everyone I loved got lost. I thought nothing could astonish me after living every way. Then I watched the one I called forever turn and choose to walk away. I haven’t reached that ending, and I swear I don’t want to fall. But that supergiant’s life story sounds like mine most of all. When the people who give life meaning leave, what keeps my light from disappearing? What the hell is having everything if you lose what made it worth living? [FINAL CHORUS] I live like a supergiant, still burning through it all. I don’t fear beginning with nothing— I fear the end after having it all. Tuve lujo, tuve fuerza, tuve sangre y lealtad; tuve todo lo que cuesta, no lo que no puedes comprar. I could hold the world between my hands and still have empty arms. Everyone who ever felt like home became a distant star. I’m still alive, I’m still burning, I still have a flame to guard. But I’m scared the life I’m living looks too much like that dying star. [OUTRO] That supergiant didn’t scare me because of how hard it had to fall. It scared me because its life felt just like mine… and it died after having it all.
