[Intro] Gentlemen! Find your note, mind your manners... and a-one, a-two, a-one-two-three— [Verse 1] Now I'm a proper gentleman, I tip my hat and bow (bow, bow) I called on Miss Prudence Tuesday — let me tell you fellas how (do tell!) She met me in her petticoat and offered me some tea — then she climbed up on the davenport and rode me clean to Tennessee! [All]: Well, I do declare! (I do declare!) [Chorus] Oh, Sweeet Prudence! (ooh-ooh!) The finest little lady a fella ever knew (ever knew!) She's pure as the snow, and gentle and slow — till she gets a fella home and works him black and blue! Sweet Prudence! (yes indeed!) — a lady through and through! (big ring, ritard) — what a laaa-dy! [Verse 2] Why, I brought her sweet carnations and a locket made of tin (so proper!) She thanked me like a lady... then she asked me to come in (oh my!) We spooned upon the settee in the manner most refined — then she did a thing with a butter churn I still can't get right out my mind! [All]: A BUTTER CHURN?! (do go on!) [Chorus] Oh, Sweeet Prudence! (ooh-ooh!) The finest little lady a fella ever knew (ever knew!) She's pure as the snow, and gentle and slow — till she gets a fella home and works him black and blue! Sweet Prudence! (yes indeed!) — a lady through and through! [Bass Feature] [Bass]: Now fellas, I'm a bass — I sing the low-down part (mm-hmm) And Miss Prudence, bless her soul, she's got a low-down heart — She took me to the cellar where she keeps the Christmas wine... [All, gasping]: ...and?! [Bass]: A gentleman does not say... but she wrung me out like a Sunday shirt and hung me up to dry. [All]: MISS PRUDENCE! (heavens to Betsy!) [Verse 3] Now Georgie cleared his throat and said, "A davenport, you say?" (I do...) till she gets a fella home and works him black and blue! Sweet Prudence! (yes indeed!) — a lady through and through! [Bass Feature] [Bass]: Now fellas, I'm a bass — I sing the low-down part (mm-hmm) And Miss Prudence, bless her soul, she's got a low-down heart — She took me to the cellar where she keeps the Christmas wine... [All, gasping]: ...and?! [Bass]: A gentleman does not say... but she wrung me out like a Sunday shirt and hung me up to dry. [All]: MISS PRUDENCE! (heavens to Betsy!) [Verse 3] Now Georgie cleared his throat and said, "A davenport, you say?" (I do...) And Wallace choked, "The butter churn?!" and Harold looked away (oh no...) We laid our four tales side by side — the tin, the wine, the rest — and gentlemen, we realized... we'd all been truly blessed! [All]: SWEET PRUDENCE! (every one of us!) (every blessed Tuesday!) [Toast] So we raised our four-part harmony and toasted to her name (to Prudence!) For a lady of her talents, why, there ain't no cause for shame (none at all!) She's kept this quartet ringin' and she's kept us all in tune — here's to the busiest sweetheart underneath the harvest moon! [Final Chorus: Biggest fullest four-part harmony — sustain the open vowels, "Prudence" crisp and clipped] Oh, SWEET Prudence! (ooh-ooh!) The finest little lady a fella ever knew (ever knew!) She's pure as the snow, and gentle and slow — till she gets a fella home and works him black and blue! Sweet Prudence! (yes indeed!) — a lady through and through! [Tag: ritardando, hands out — sustain the open vowels] Oh... Sweeet... (oooooh...) that scandalous, magnificent... Miss Prudence — (big ring, ritard) — what a lady! [All]: Yes ma'am! [Hard End]
