Sixteen millermitres every single day Buprenorphine coursing through my veins, showing me the way To a life without the heroin, a life without the pain But the medicine's a chain, and I'm trying to break the chain Allison's the name of my drug worker that keeps me sane I collect meds from Cobblers Hall, standing in the rain Every morning, same routine, same line, same wait Same faces, same stories, same heavy weight Of the past, of the choices, of the life we left behind Of the ghosts that still haunt us, of the peace we're trying to find I've got appointments every month, screenings all the time Pissing in a cup just to prove I'm doing fine But I'm not fine, I'm just functioning, just getting by Just trying to keep my head above water, trying not to cry I'm trying to break the cycle, trying to break free From the chains of addiction that have been holding me I'm trying to get my licence, trying to move on Trying to build a life before my time is gone For my kids, for my missus, for the man I want to be I'm fighting every single day to finally be free For my kids, for my missus, for the life we could live I'm fighting every single day, I've got so much more to give [Verse 2 – Hard-hitting, raw, emotional] I've been on this road for years, up and down the same track Relapse after relapse, always coming back To the needle, to the foil, to the feeling of the numb To the place where I don't feel, to the place where I succumb To the darkness, to the pain, to the shame I can't escape To the ghosts of my past, to the mistakes I can't reshape But I'm trying, God I'm trying, to be better than before To be the man my kids deserve, to be so much more Than the sum of my addictions, than the weight of my regret Than the years I spent running, than the things I can't forget So I take my medicine, I keep my appointments I do the work, I face the fear, I make the small adjustments To my life, to my mind, to the way I see the world I'm learning to be patient, I'm learning to be heard I'm trying to break the cycle, trying to break free From the chains of addiction that have been holding me I'm trying to get my licence, trying to move on Trying to build a life before my time is gone For my kids, for my missus, for the man I want to be I'm fighting every single day to finally be free For my kids, for my missus, for the life we could live I'm fighting every single day, I've got so much more to give Some days are harder than others, some days I want to quit Some days the cravings hit me hard, and I can barely sit Still, through the shaking, through the sweating, through the tears Through the voice in my head that's been feeding me fears For years, telling me I'm nothing, telling me I'm weak Telling me I'll never make it, telling me I'm unique In my suffering, in my pain, in my struggle, in my fight But I'm proving that voice wrong every single night 'Cos I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I'm still standing tall I'm still fighting, I'm still winning, I'm still giving my all For the ones who need me, for the ones who love me For the ones who see the man I'm becoming, the man I want to be I collect my meds from Allison, she knows my name She sees me every month, she sees the shame In my eyes, in my face, in the way I walk But she also sees the hope, she hears the way I talk About my kids, about my missus, about the life I want to build About the dreams I'm chasing, about the void I've finally filled With purpose, with meaning, with a reason to be clean With a reason to keep fighting, with a reason to be seen As more than just an addict, more than just a case More than just a number in the system's cold embrace I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a son, I'm a friend I'm a man who's trying to make amends For the years I lost, for the time I wasted For the pain I caused, for the life I tasted Of freedom, of peace, of a future that's bright I'm fighting for my licence, I'm fighting for the light I'm trying to break the cycle, trying to break free From the chains of addiction that have been holding me I'm trying to get my licence, trying to move on Trying to build a life before my time is gone For my kids, for my missus, for the man I want to be I'm fighting every single day to finally be free For my kids, for my missus, for the life we could live I'm fighting every single day, I've got so much more to give I know the road is long, I know the road is hard I know there's days I'll stumble, I know there's days I'll scar But I'm not the man I was, I'm not the boy who fell I'm the man who's standing up, I'm the man who's breaking the spell Of the heroin, of the darkness, of the life that held me down I'm the man who's wearing a smile, I'm the man who's free
