Cheers then, congrats, we made it three whole months, innit? An absolute record for a joke that only works in bed But the hormonal mist is clearing, and the numbers are fatal You want to travel the world, I want peace, how bloody banal So we just ignore it, right? 'Cause that solves everything Hoping you'll magically change, what a brilliant concept, top tier! Two trains on a collision course, just thundering on Heading for a cliff I can hear with my eyes closed. Look at us go, ain't we a beautiful pair? Sprinting to the absolute abyss, and we’re getting there fast! No one starts a thing thinking it's gonna crash But here we are, selling popcorn while the whole place burns! Is it really wise to dump one more minute into this? Or should we just jump this sinking ship right now? Attraction is lovely, but reality is knocking on the door And we’ve got the brain capacity of a banana if we think this works Your morals clash with mine, fundamentally flawed Every single chat is an arena where no one gets spared "Differences make it interesting," says the therapist who lies It’s just bloody exhausting when you realize what the other believes No understanding, no empathy, just listening to ourselves Building a house of cards, waiting for the wind to blow. Give and take? Yeah, pretty sure that was in the contract Shall we discuss that later, when you clumsily grab me again? Every weekend is a match: your party or my couch The winner gets to be right, the loser gets the stench Water in the wine? Nah mate, that’s for weaklings and failures Being right is the only thing that gets us off emotionally. Thank god we still have one thing where we don't have to talk The second the clothes come off, all the gaps disappear The sheets are the only place we accidentally understand each other What a deep connection, what a spiritual, intellectual vibe! As soon as the alarm goes off, we have absolutely zero in common No hobbies, no opinions, just talking over each other But hey, as long as the physical chemistry is running the show It’s perfectly fine that the rest of our lives is exploding. The absolute highlight of my entire week? When you shut the front door behind you and I don't have to look at your face Being together feels like community service, a chore on paper Unless we’re sharing the sheets, then we get thirty seconds of joy I am honestly so much happier when you're not around That’s the clearest sign in this whole pathetic drama Why are we pretending? We literally hate each other's guts. Look at us go, ain't we a beautiful pair? Sprinting to the absolute abyss, and we’re getting there fast! No one starts a thing thinking it's gonna crash But here we are, selling popcorn while the whole place burns! Is it really wise to dump one more minute into this? Or should we just jump this sinking ship right now? Oh, but wait, there’s still hope, I hear the optimists scream! "Many couples fix this if they just really wanted to!" The difference is the willingness, the effort and the grit So if we just keep our clothes on, it’ll all be fine, right? What a lovely fairy tale, but let’s be real for a second: When the foundation is completely rotten, there’s nothing left to heal. It doesn’t need to go out with a bang, we’re just bleeding out slow Two strangers in one bed, the intellectual distance is too wide I know what’s missing, the conclusion is already here Why don't we just draw a line, this was our final year Let’s be honest: the sex isn't saving this absolute bin fire anymore, babe. Bye!
