[Intro – spoken, Scottish accent] Aye, give me a tall cold pint of whole milk. Let the world witness the glory of the ring on my face. [Verse 1] Every mornin when I rise I have a thirst I cannae tame Forget the tea and coffee lad milk’s my claim to fame I tilt the glass up to the sky and drink it with some grace Then grin into the mirror at the halo on my face [Chorus] Call me Mr Milkface proud as any man can be A creamy little circle sittin pretty over me A mustache made of heaven a lip ring of delight If I’ve got milk upon my mouth I’m doin somethin right [Verse 2] Some lads sip it gently tryin not to leave a trace But I slam mine down like thunder just to paint my milky face Whether jug or tanker or a cow that looks annoyed If it coats my lips in white then I’m a deeply happy boy [Pre Chorus] Chocolate strawberry goat or cow Pour it in me now pour it in me now [Chorus] Call me Mr Milkface the legend lives again A frothy kiss upon my lips is better than champagne A warrior of the dairy arts a man of cultured taste Bless the ring upon my mouth the circle on my face [Bridge – slightly bawdy] Some lassies think it scandalous the way I lick my lips But love I’m only cleanin up the dribbles from my sips And if you fancy somethin sweet then come a little near I’ll share a bit of cream with you plenty more is here [Verse 3] At pubs they pour their lagers and I let the others cheer But hand me just a pint of milk and I’m the happiest one here I wipe my sleeve and wink a bit I’m milk kissed bold and free A dairy drinkin kilted king so raise a glass with me [Final Chorus] Call me Mr Milkface shout it far across the glen A milky badge of honor worn by only finest men A creamy crown a soft white smile I wear it with pure pride For I’m the lad who loves his milk and what it leaves outside [Outro – spoken] Aye leave the foam where it lays Sláinte! but make it whole milk
