[intro] [female voice] “Hello?!….Is somebody there?!…I need some help!…” [screaming] [beat drops] [Verse 1] Aye yo, like Freddy Krueger Eatin’ up the nightmares Goblin scores playin’ while film imperfections streak the air. That Troma radiation bubbling the edges of the frame The Class of Nuke ’Em High got green sludge in their veins David Cronenberg’s visions of flesh redefined. With Wes and Ari Aster here to mess with your mind Joe Bob and Darcy dissecting all the horror Schlock With Felissa Rose as the expert of mangled c*cks . Hungry? Try The Stuff, I’m just snackin’ on fear, Machete in hand like it’s Trejo‘s new premier. Like Videodrome, spittin’ from new flesh, As shocking as an alien bursting from your chest. [Hook] Slick frames, flicker pop — and plot goes feral, Masked killers stalk, teen’s meet their peril . You want cult films? Then you got a deal — Your eyes might burn on this SIZZLE REEL. [Verse 2] You claim to know horror and Blumhouse is it In the words of the Greasy Strangler, “I smell bullshit!” All they care about is budget and cutting the cost While 70s directors were out breaking the laws Used to be picket lines, demanding a films removal Now we chop movies for the test screeners approval Microwave massacre, puttin’ nuked brains on display definition of a movie that you couldn’t make today On that subject, let’s talk Hell comes the frog town, Rowdy Roddy Piper taking the Greeners down. And if you’re still time, the blue aliens can get some Cause he came to kick ass and he’s all out of gum. [Hook 2 ] Blood on the lens, guts in the projector wheel, Romero with a vision, redefining what is real. Death spa will give you a true chemical peel, Sit back, relax, here comes the SIZZLE REEL. [Verse 3] It’s a Dead Heat night with a zombified cop, Bubblin’ skin in The Kindred, watch it mutate and pop. Sorority girls in a slimeball bowl-o-rama, Blasting brain-eating creeps in hot pink pajamas. last man standin’ like Night of the Comet, As gory and obscene as an acid colonic. Long night ahead because Surf Nazis must die Take coffee with my sugar wired like bundle fly Killer robots in the mall, C.H.U.D.’s rising to be fed Barrels of bio weapons return the living dead Trash stripping in the graveyard gives us the sign That if you wanna party, IT’s PARTY TIME! [Hook 3] Blood on the lens guts in the projector wheel, Romero with a vision , redefining what is real. Terrifier’s Art showing us how far they can go As our our eyes soak it in sitting in the back row Blood on the lens, guts in the projector wheel, As heads explode everything seems surreal Too late no refunds, it the same old speil This ain’t a trailer — it’s the SIZZLE REEL. [Outro - B-movie trailer voice] “WARNING: The following contains scenes too violent and shocking for minors or patrons with heart conditions. A nurse will be on staff. This theater does not take responsibility for what happens tonight. [echoing] The end… or is it? [end]
