[Verse 1] The world was in crisis, forests in flames The ice caps were melting, the oceans were graves The experts were shouting, “We’re running outta time!” So we held a big meeting and formed a… committee line They said, “We got a plan, and it’s bold and it’s grand—” I leaned in real close like, “Drop it, I’m already a fan” They said, “We’ll throw money at the problem, watch it behave!” I said, “Wow… that’s the same way I budget my rent and my raves” [Pre-Chorus] Coins in a jar, saving Earth like a star Every nickel, every dime—yeah we’re going real far [Chorus (BIG, CATCHY, SILLY)] I saved the world fifty cents at a time! Dropped a couple quarters, now the sun behaves just fine The clouds got nervous, the storms said “nah” Even hurricanes were like “let’s take a spa” I saved the world, yeah I did my part Climate change saw me and it grew a heart The weather said, “Wow, what a generous guy!” Then it smiled at me… from the sky [Verse 2] Summers got cooler, winters got mild Mother Nature texting me, “You fixed it, my child” It turned into spring like the whole year through Birds high-fiving squirrels like, “Respect to you!” The glaciers were chillin’, literally relaxed Polar bears sipping lemonade, just maxed I said, “This is easy, why didn’t we try—” Then BOOM from the heavens like a cosmic pie [Pre-Chorus] Shadow in the sky, getting kinda big I said, “Is that normal?” They said, “Not particularly, no?” [Chorus (BIGGER, CHAOTIC ENERGY)] I saved the world fifty cents at a time! Fixed the weather system, made the primetime But a rock from space didn’t get the memo Crashed the whole planet like a bad pool shot! I saved the world, yeah I swear I tried But the asteroid said, “LOL,” and we all died Now I’m drifting around with a ghostly sigh… Guess I should’ve looked… up in the sky [Bridge (SPOKEN / COMEDIC BREAKDOWN)] Floating through space like, “Well this is awkward…” Met a dinosaur like, “Hey, same thing happened to us” I said, “We had funding!” He said, “We had vibes!” Maybe… just maybe… We should’ve built… a GIANT SPACE ROCK DEFENSE SYSTEM [Final Chorus (EPIC + ABSURD)] We could’ve saved the world with a telescopic view! Instead we just Venmo’d the sky like fools do All that spare change, all that pride— Couldn’t dodge a rock from the cosmic sky I saved the world fifty cents at a time… But forgot about the stuff in outer space what a crime Now I haunt the stars, and I gotta confess— A near-Earth detector would’ve helped… yes [Outro (soft, ironic)] So if you’re down there… and you got some cash… Maybe fund space science… before the crash…
