[Verse 1] We rolled up to the windmill, scorecards lookin’ clean, Michael’s talkin’ trash before we hit hole three. Ball went in the water? “Nah, that one don’t count…” Funny how his golf ball always seems to bounce. He kicks it with his sneaker when nobody’s around, Calls it “course correction” with a grin and a shrug. We’re all yellin’, “Penalty!” He’s yellin’, “Play it where it lies!” Yeah… right next to where you dropped it, nice try! ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] He says, “It’s just for fun!” But somehow he still cheats to win… ⸻ [Chorus] HEY! Michael cheats at mini golf! Moves his ball when nobody’s watchin’! HEY! Michael cheats at mini golf! Claims it was “the slope” that caused it! He’s got a pocket full of mulligans, A rulebook he just made up then— We all know what he’s doin’, man… Michael cheats at mini golf! ⸻ [Verse 2] Three-foot putt? He calls it “good.” Hits the clown’s big mouth? “I should get two!” Counts a six as four because it “felt more right.” Then celebrates like Tiger on a Sunday night. If the ball gets stuck beneath the pirate’s chest, He’ll fish it out and say, “Well… I deserved the rest.” We’re laughin’ so hard we can barely keep score, Mostly ‘cause we’re watchin’ him invent new rules. ⸻ [Bridge] (Half-time, gang vocals) One… two… three… FOUR? How’d you lose a stroke once more? No one saw? Yeah, that’s convenient! You’re the king of tiny green delinquent! ⸻ [Final Chorus] HEY! Michael cheats at mini golf! Every round’s a magic trick somehow! HEY! Michael cheats at mini golf! And he’ll probably deny it now! He’s got excuses by the dozen, Blames the clubs, the wind, his cousin… We still invite him every summer— ‘Cause honestly… it’s way more fun! Michael cheats! Michael cheats! Michael cheats at mini golf! (Spoken outro over crashing guitars) “Bro… you literally picked your ball up.” “…Local rules.” “THERE ARE NO LOCAL RULES, MICHAEL!” 🤘
