The Bucket

[Intro] A dot Teller Bucket fills I empty it Bucket goes back Same arrangement, for two years [Chorus] I ain’t falling Even falling has a floor I don’t move no more Still suspended — no floor I ain’t falling Even falling has a floor I don’t move no more Still suspended — no floor [Verse 1] Past one, the room chills. Rain heavy on the tin Bucket fills. Same leak creeping in Daughter sleeps on. Door shut. Quiet air Eleven days gone. Coat still on the chair School envelope face down. Bill cutoff No words. Set it on the table. Walked off Questions stayed untold. She knew already Seven years old, fluent in heavy Five days. Ten. No message. No key in the lock, no sound Day five, the hurt decays. Wasn’t a wound Same coat. Same dust. Nothing improves Now it’s furniture nobody moves Red light. Bones and his kid. Four seconds, unmoved Green light. Neither moved Amended the memory ’til it sounded truthful Both versions true. Neither useful [Chorus] I ain’t falling Even falling has a floor I don’t move no more Still suspended — no floor [Post-Chorus] I ain’t falling Even falling has a floor I don’t move no more Still suspended — no floor [Verse 2] Phone in my hand when my head gets loud Blue light on my face, room wears a shroud Algorithm hit me like hashish Know the rattle of its own leash Tokyo neon, night vision. Wet asphalt at midnight Berlin, Seoul, Lisbon. Same scroll every night Some plans don’t get built Rooms you rent forever, still unbuilt Every skyline in my pocket, projected Never been more disconnected Watched a man on a balcony twice Locked the phone. My face in the device Almost lined up, then pulled back Then the screen went black Opened the visa form. Two fields. Closed it Later’s the only country I can’t quit [Chorus] I ain’t falling Even falling has a floor I don’t move no more Still suspended — no floor I ain’t falling Even falling has a floor I don’t move no more Still suspended — no floor [Bridge] Same alley. Same chair. Same windowsill Same bucket. Same drip. Same floor Nine years standing still Exhausted the whole time Haven’t moved in nine years Phone go off. I don’t pick up Three boys. One screen. First kingdom disappears Been paying rent on silence since [Verse 3] Four words in my chest, still suspended My mother threw the schoolbag out, sealed letter left unattended Undelivered. Unattempted. Untended Name off the homeroom list, quiet, fifth grade Side street home, school building in the shade Same man. Different decade Still standing at the sink. Never at the table By thirty, I promised myself I’d bail. Stayed shut-in Thirty-five, latch still broken since I moved in Promised myself I'd open the mail. Still sealed within Small debts overextended. Big ones stay shut Keys in my pocket, cold brass Don’t know yet the window’s my pass Don’t know yet who’ll scream at the glass Don’t know yet the shadow’s wearing my face [Outro] Thirty-five, still indebted Overextended Unmended Still where the alley left me Thirty-five, still indebted Overextended Unmended Still where the alley left me