[INTRO — SPOKEN] “What are you staring at?” “My beer.” “Liar.” [VERSE 1] Rosie worked the midnight shift Down at the Crooked Tap. Built like a pin-up poster With an attitude to match. She could carry six full pitchers, Throw a troublemaker clear, And silence every loudmouth With one look across the beer. I ordered up a lager. Rosie set it on the bar. Then she leaned across to grab A bottle from too far. The whole damn room went silent. I nearly shed a tear. [CHORUS] I got titties in my beer! Rosie leaned a little near! I ordered one cold lager— Got a double helping here! She said, “Quit your complaining. That costs extra, dear!” Lord have mercy— Rosie’s titties Are swimming in my beer! [VERSE 2] The left one hit the head first. The right one followed through. Foam went flying everywhere— I didn’t know what to do. The jukebox stopped its humming. Somebody dropped a chair. Every bastard in the building Suddenly forgot to stare. Rosie slowly straightened, Looked me squarely in the eye: “You planning on drinking that, Or watching those things dry?” [CHORUS] I got titties in my beer! Rosie leaned a little near! I ordered one cold lager— Got a double helping here! She said, “Quit your complaining. That costs extra, dear!” Lord have mercy— Rosie’s titties Are swimming in my beer! [BRIDGE] Rosie grabbed the glass, Took a drink and wiped the rim. Poured me out another— Then charged me twice again. Every man along the counter Pushed his beer toward her chest. Rosie rang the old brass bell And yelled: “Get out, you fucking pests!” [BREAKDOWN] She said: “If you want a beer without titties— Pour the damn thing yourself.” [FINAL CHORUS] No more titties in my beer! Rosie made the message clear! Half the bar went out the window. Half went flying by the ear. She poured herself a Captain, Raised the glass and gave a cheer: “To the fool who drank the lager With my titties in his beer!” [OUTRO] Rosie owns the bar now. Business is good.
