SPACE TOURS

STAR TOURS” [Intro — airy synths, faded vocals] Yo yo yo… They call me Cosmic Crisp Pete… Nice to meet ya… Been lost in space for a minute— Can somebody give directions? ⸻ [Verse 1] I’M SO HIGH—bumping HIRIE In my car—wait maybe it’s a spaceship, B And lemme remind you—DON’T do crack, cocaine, or meth Stay away from the Fenti train All you really need is weed— …wait… Now I’m talking to the bunny in my passenger seat Calls himself Maximum Bunny Says “my fucking MUNDERSON don’t be weak” Keeps yellin’ “hit 100 in a 25 Blow clouds while you close your eyes Do it once and you might survive Do it twice? That ain’t the vibe” Confused again somehow in the backseat Passenger princess while Max drives reckless This psycho bunny off something stronger than imagination Hoopin’ and hollerin’, throwin’ shit around the cabin Just hit a fucking clown— At least I THINK it was a clown But at this speed through space you can’t look down OH PISS IN MY ASS— Clear throw-up in my lap Lookin’ like phlegm Took too big of a rip Now I’m totally fucked and havin’ a fit BITCH GIMME WATER RIGHT NOW My mouth dry as cotton And I’m about to— …wait… Did that raccoon flick me off? What a dick, but I bet he soft Bet this raccoon ain’t got balls Probably softer than a softball And he’s GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Windows down, bass too loud Mind gone somewhere in space right now Tryna act cool but I know I’m fried Whole damn galaxy got me tongue-tied ⸻ [Chorus — catchy, melodic] I’M TOO HIGH—I CAN’T COME DOWN One more hit got me lost somehow Eyes low, brain gone sideways I been stuck in the smoke for twenty-five days TOO HIGH BUT I LIKE THIS FEELING Even when the whole room breathing Roll one up, let the night spin ’round If I’m lost then I don’t wanna be found ⸻ [Verse 2] Pulled up Space Taco Bell around 3:10 Ordered 190 credits just for me and my psycho bunny friend Got paranoid when the alien chick asked my name Forgot what planet I even came from She said “have a good night” I said “I don’t know you well enough To discuss my sexual life” Then Max reached past me, lost his shit Straight snapped—full psycho mode Threw a thermal detonator through the window And some loose change Screamin’ “FUCK YOU ALL IN THERE I KNOW YOU SHORTED ME ON CHEESE” Dropped my sauce and it ruined my week ‘Cause somehow I dropped that shit on my wife’s head While she was asleep Guess I was just standin’ over the bed Like Paranormal Activity possessed me instead Now I’m staring at the moon Like it’s staring back at me too Riff Raff on the speakers Spiritually coverin’ me in ranch Existential crisis off a mango vape Tryna hold it together but I can’t escape ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Windows down, bass too loud Mind gone somewhere in the clouds Tryna act cool but I know I look fried Whole damn world got me tongue-tied ⸻ [Chorus] I’M TOO HIGH—I CAN’T COME DOWN LOST IN SPACE SO FUCK YOUR FACE I been stuck in the smoke for forty-five days TOO HIGH BUT I LIKE THIS FEELING Even when the whole room breathing Roll one up, let the night spin ’round If I’m lost then don’t bring me down ⸻ [Bridge — hazy breakdown] Wait… Hold up… Did I already hear this song? …or did it restart? …nah… …nahhhhh… (beat drops back in) ⸻ [Verse 3] Walking through Space Target fried as hell Thought the mannequin moved—I couldn’t really tell Socked him in the face and he instantly fell Then he stood up like: “I’M NOT A FUCKING MANNEQUIN YOU FULL-ON PAC I’M A BIG-WIG BUSINESS ALIEN FROM FUNGLE 7 AND I HAVE VERY POWERFUL FRIENDS” OH SHIT His eyes turned red So I ran to my car fast as I could Definitely pissed myself Pants fully soaked— No debate there Oh also did I mention? Bought candles, chips, and a garden gnome Don’t remember why but now he’s coming home Brain on airplane mode, full out on roam Floating through life like a crimson cloud ⸻ [Final Chorus — biggest] I’M TOO HIGH—I CAN’T COME DOWN LOST IN SPACE AND TOTALLY FUCKED SOMEHOW Eyes low, brain gone sideways I been stuck in the smoke for ninety-five days TOO HIGH BUT I LIKE THIS FEELING Even when the whole room breathing Roll one up, let the night spin ’round If I’m lost then don’t bring me down ⸻ [Outro — fading] Wait… Where the fuck are my keys? …oh. I’m still parked, B. Guess that’s why they call me Cosmic Crisp Pete.