Nugget.

It must have texture, it must fight back against the tooth...
If it melts in your mouth... it is not meat, it is paste.

The Coating.
This is war, the chicken needs armour!

So, then, the Holy Trinity.
Whisked flower... beaten eggs...  Bread-crumbs.

Season the flour...
Salt and Pepper...
Paprika...
Garlic... dust.

Do not be shy.
Dip the chicken in the flour, a ghostly white.
Then the egg.... the binding agent.
Then the Panko, the bread-crumbs.

Press it in.
Make sure the armour is sealed.
If the armour breaches... the chicken dries out.

Fry it... hot... in the cleanest, filtered vegetable oil.
Golden... Deep.
Listen to the sizzle... That is the sound of victory.

The Sauce.
You want BBQ?
Then we make it dark. We make it sinful.

Ketchup base... I forgive you this one time.
But make it yourself, next time!

Brown Sugar... and... Molasses... No mercy...
Apple Cider Vinegar...
And smoke...
Liquid Smoke... it is a modern convenience...
Smoked paprika for tradition is best.

Boil it down.
It should be thick.
It should be sticky.
It should look like the oil from a chariot wheel.
Sweet... Tangy... Dangerous.

The Service.
Pile them high.
Build a mountain of gold.
A Ziggurat of poultry...
For... each... of you, 
you... greedy... sinful... barbarians!

Do not count calories tonight.
Tonight... we feed the beast.

Place the bowl of black sauce in the center of the table.

The dipping pool.

The Rules of Engagement.
Fingers only.
Grasp the nugget.
Dip.
Coat it in the darkness.
Eat.
But hear me well...
Do. Not. Double. Dip...
Once it has touched your lips... it does not return to the communal pool.
That is biological warfare.

Hoarde the gold...
Keep it to yourself...
We do not share.
For that... is also... sinful.

Wipe your chin.
You are a mess.
Carry on.

2082/7500

Citizens... Heathens... ... Barbarians... You clamour for the Nugget. Very well. We shall descend into the pit of gluttony together. But listen to me. Do not buy the frozen bag. That is grey sludge... despair shaped like a boot. We use the Breast... Real chicken... Cut it into chunks.. Bite-sized. It must have texture, it must fight back against the tooth... If it melts in your mouth... it is not meat, it is paste. The Coating. This is war, the chicken needs armour! So, then, the Holy Trinity. Whisked flower... beaten eggs... Bread-crumbs. Season the flour... Salt and Pepper... Paprika... Garlic... dust. Do not be shy. Dip the chicken in the flour, a ghostly white. Then the egg.... the binding agent. Then the Panko, the bread-crumbs. Press it in. Make sure the armour is sealed. If the armour breaches... the chicken dries out. Fry it... hot... in the cleanest, filtered vegetable oil. Golden... Deep. Listen to the sizzle... That is the sound of victory. The Sauce. You want BBQ? Then we make it dark. We make it sinful. Ketchup base... I forgive you this one time. But make it yourself, next time! Brown Sugar... and... Molasses... No mercy... Apple Cider Vinegar... And smoke... Liquid Smoke... it is a modern convenience... Smoked paprika for tradition is best. Boil it down. It should be thick. It should be sticky. It should look like the oil from a chariot wheel. Sweet... Tangy... Dangerous. The Service. Pile them high. Build a mountain of gold. A Ziggurat of poultry... For... each... of you, you... greedy... sinful... barbarians! Do not count calories tonight. Tonight... we feed the beast. Place the bowl of black sauce in the center of the table. The dipping pool. The Rules of Engagement. Fingers only. Grasp the nugget. Dip. Coat it in the darkness. Eat. But hear me well... Do. Not. Double. Dip... Once it has touched your lips... it does not return to the communal pool. That is biological warfare. Hoarde the gold... Keep it to yourself... We do not share. For that... is also... sinful. Wipe your chin. You are a mess. Carry on.

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