Fear brought me back to healing. I began working with energy, breathwork, and meditation again, initially with the intention of healing myself. I am still in this process of healing myself, as apparently I have an unusual ability: I believe I can heal myself, even though many people who have a gift for healing believe they cannot heal themselves. This eventually led me into encounters with Slavic spiritual practitioners who told me that I had parasitic entities feeding on my life force. It also led me to understand that I had the ability to cast out what I experienced as demonic presences from my own energetic field. One of the wise women who told me about these attachments also told me that I have a natural gift for healing and for casting out demons. Once again, I feel as though I am back at square one, standing at the threshold of healing. I have asked God to use me as an instrument of His love and to guide me through this process of returning to healing — and, specifically, to healing the world through art. Because I had been struggling with what I understood as spiritual attacks myself, I began turning my healing practice inward. I started healing myself — not from cancer, but from what I understood to be spiritual attacks. And then something happened that I had not expected. My spiritual journey led me back to the Catholic faith. I went through the Charismatic Renewal and began rediscovering my relationship with God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Through this process, I came to understand healing not simply as something I could do, but as a charism of healing — a gift that I believe God had placed within me long before I understood what it meant. Looking back now, I can see that the story was always there. The little girl who wanted to become a nun. The child who felt close to God. The seventeen-year-old who discovered healing and, through it, began to believe in God. The young woman who practiced Reiki and healed her friends. The artist who wanted to create an Heart Art Movement. The woman who moved across continents, studied graphic design, printmaking, and painting, and eventually received a Ph.D. in Art. And now, the artist who has returned to healing. For me, these are not separate stories. They are one story. The Heart Art Movement is a healing movement. I believe that art can reach places that words cannot reach. It can touch the soul, open the heart, awaken something within us, and remind us of our connection to love. And this is where I understand my own purpose today: I am an artist, and I am a healer. I am a Heartist. I believe I am here to help heal the world through art. And Jesus is my Teacher. I want to learn from the way Jesus loved, healed, forgave, and brought light into the world. I want to create art that carries that same intention — art that moves the soul and opens the heart. I don’t want to die for my mission. I want to live. I want to spend the rest of my life creating art, loving deeply, growing spiritually, and sharing this journey with my Twin Flame. I want to make art that moves people. Art that makes people feel. Art that opens hearts. Art that reminds us that love is still possible. Perhaps this is what I was asking for all those years ago when, as a little girl, I said I wanted to become a nun. Maybe I didn’t understand then what it meant to dedicate your life to God. Maybe I was simply responding to a calling I could already feel. And maybe the path was never supposed to be a straight line. Maybe it was always supposed to flow through faith, rebellion, healing, art, pain, discovery, loss, love, and finally — back to the heart. This is how I became a healer. And this is only the beginning. Abracadabra. Amen.
