[INTRO – LIVE TRUMPET HOOK, DRUMS AND LOW SOUSAPHONE] [Sharp trumpet riff, cheeky tenor sax answer. Deep sousaphone bass groove and a stomping live drum kit. Crowd cheers.] [DEX – SPOKEN, GRINNING] Brighton, I've got a little announcement. There's someone in this room who's been coming here for three Fridays. And someone on this stage who's been pretending he hasn't noticed. Don't look at me like that, Alf. You know I'm right. [VERSE 1 – DEX, RHYTHMIC MELODIC SINGING] First Friday, you were standing at the rail, His bass went soft and his face gave him away. Second Friday, back again, same spot by the stairs, He was looking over long before you caught him there. Third Friday, gone before the lights came up, Like he'd rather lug that brass than try his luck. And I've watched this happen now for three whole weeks, He's got breath enough for brass, but never when he speaks. [PRE-CHORUS – PUNCHY TRUMPETS, SNARE BUILD] I've seen him charm a room without saying a word, But one look from the front row and his timing gets blurred. I've got a microphone, and I've had enough, So, Brighton, help me out with the difficult stuff! [CHORUS – BIG BRASS HOOK, STOMPING DRUMS] Three gigs and a stare, One in the spotlight, one standing right there. He can shake the room, but he can't talk to you, Three gigs and a stare! That lad can make a whole room move, Still can't find the words when he looks at you. [DEX – SPOKEN CALL] What should he do? [CROWD – GROUP CHANT] GO SAY HELLO! [DEX – SUNG] Come on, Alfie, you know this one well! [INSTRUMENTAL – TRUMPET AND SAX TRADE RIFFS] [Trumpet takes the catchy hook. Tenor sax replies with a playful rising phrase. Deep sousaphone keeps steady low bass notes; live snare rolls into the next verse.] [VERSE 2 – DEX, CHEEKY AND WARM] Your flatmate Sasha had a word with me, Said, "That big lad's hopeless, and it's plain to see." My ex, still my mate, with a wicked little grin: "You've got a microphone. Go on, get stuck in." The band's all in on it; Alfie's got no clue, His low notes go all gentle every time he spots you. Big man, big brass, brave under the lights, Then he meets your eyes and forgets how to say hi. [SHORT BUILD – DRUMS AND BRASS STABS] It's a lovely little problem, it's a terrible delay, And I'm running out of ways to look the other way. [DEX – SPOKEN] Right. We're settling this democratically. [CHORUS – CROWD CLAPS ON THE BEAT] Three gigs and a stare, One in the spotlight, one standing right there. He can shake the room, but he can't talk to you, Three gigs and a stare! That lad can make a whole room move, Still can't find the words when he looks at you. [DEX – SPOKEN CALL] What should he do? [CROWD – GROUP CHANT] GO SAY HELLO! [LOW SOUSAPHONE BASS FEATURE – 4 BARS] [Alfie plays a low, syncopated bass solo with snare. He turns bright red mid-phrase as trumpets and sax tease him with short replies. No high sousaphone runs. Crowd cheers.] [DEX – SPOKEN] There he goes. Bright red. Fantastic. [BREAKDOWN – ONLY SOUSAPHONE, SNARE AND CLAPS] [DEX – HALF-SUNG, TEASING] We can shake the ceiling, we can rattle every glass, Still can't get our Alfie to walk over and ask. So here's your little chorus, no need to rehearse, And Alfie, I'm sorry, but it's only getting worse. [DEX – CALL] One, two, one, two! [CROWD – STOMPING CHANT] GO SAY HELLO! GO SAY HELLO! GO SAY HELLO! GO SAY HELLO! [DEX – LAUGHING] That's surprisingly good advice from this lot! [FINAL CHORUS – FULL LIVE BRASS AND DRUMS] Three gigs and a stare, One in the spotlight, one standing right there. He can shake the room, but he can't talk to you, Three gigs and a stare! Fourth Friday, he might just stay, And leave that back-door escape for another day. [DEX – SPOKEN CALL] Brighton, one more time! [CROWD – GROUP CHANT] GO SAY HELLO! [DEX – SUNG] No rush, mate, just give it a go! [OUTRO – TRUMPET RIFF AND LIVE DRUM FILL] [Deep sousaphone holds the bass groove. Trumpets end with a cheeky unison flourish.] [DEX – SPOKEN, SMILING] Alfie, mate, you've looked over four times during this song. Just thought you should know. [Band hits a crisp final chord. Crowd cheers.] [END]
