POSHUN SELLAH [DnDD IAFF Challenge]

[Intro] Welcome to the dungeon, darling. Wipe your boots. Fix your wig. And don’t touch the merchandise. [Verse 1] You come clankin’ in my shop with that busted little blade Say you need a little magic for the mess you went and made Armor lookin’ rented, face lookin’ afraid And your whole party gagged when I clocked you in the shade You want fire in a bottle? You want thunder in a glass? Baby, I sell legend, I don’t serve it up to trash Your quest may be heroic, but your mug is kinda tired And your “chosen one” energy is deeply uninspired You claim you hunt dragons? Then why are you stressed? I keep a bigger one tucked under my dress She bites, she burns, she collects her due And baby, even she is too strong for you [Pre-Chorus] I read your stats, I read your stance I read that wig beneath your helm I read your whole campaign, my love And dragged it clean across the realm [Chorus] My potions are too strong for you, boo Too snatched, too sickening, too true One little sip and you’ll be gagged Laid out flat in a velvet bag My potions are too fierce, too grand Too much heat for a trembling hand You want power? You want proof? Baby, my brew would humble you Next! [Verse 2] I got dragon-breath gloss in a crystal decanter Mana so thick it’ll make a bard stammer Elixir of slay in a ruby flask But you couldn’t handle her, so don’t even ask This one turns trolls into twinks with a wink This one makes liches reconsider and shrink This one makes knights start death-dropping in steel This one reveals how your party really feels No tea, no shade, but the tea is enchanted You begged for the strongest, and now you can’t stand it You’re not that girl, you’re not that guy You’re barely that henchman who wandered nearby [Pre-Chorus] The library’s open, I’m turning the page Your courage is padded, your legend is staged I see through the swagger, the cape, and the plume One sip of my potion? Baby, boom. [Chorus] My potions are too strong for you, boo Too snatched, too sickening, too true One little sip and you’ll be gagged Laid out flat in a velvet bag My potions are too fierce, too grand Too much heat for a trembling hand You want power? You want proof? Baby, my brew would humble you [Bridge] I brewed this beat in a cauldron of glitter Stirred it with shade till the aftertaste bitter Blessed it with lashes, bottled the drama Sealed it with wax and a curse from your mama Don’t call me merchant, I’m Mother Arcane Serving full lewk in a hurricane Dungeon couture, dragon-scale boots Readin’ you down while I polish my roots [Breakdown] Sip, sip? No. Grip, grip? No. Think you can slay? Girl, please. Don’t. Roll for nerve, baby, roll for face Roll for surviving this retail space Critical fail! Now sashay away Come back but fierce on a better day [Final Chorus] My potions are too strong for you, boo Too blessed, too brewed, too overdue One little sip and you’ll be slain Gagged in the crypt with a new campaign My potions are too fierce, too grand Too much queen for a mortal man You want power? Here’s the truth: Baby, my brew would finish you [Spoken Outro] No refunds. No samples. No weak adventurers. And no, darling… I do not take exposure.