Intermission (Why Is This a Song?)
Listen to Real Small Tuna on all major music platforms! https://open.spotify.com/album/0WxEw0BzhjZND3hFnoktOz?si=4U4XFwaCQP-Bc8goHyg3tg https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_lcWRBCJfaYKQf3sMYKtG7mZ3Ov1OKX0OU&si=Heingtfvg7FbSNTf https://music.apple.com/us/album/ska-fever-by-the-water/1841407913 [Intro: Attempted announcement] "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be taking a fifteen minute—" NO! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BREAK! (But we're playing!) WHY ARE WE PLAYING?! [Verse 1 - Fighting the music] This is just an intermission, not a song, please stop! (Can't stop!) Go buy some snacks and sodas from the shop! (Overpriced!) The bathroom's on your left down the hall This doesn't need a melody at all! Why am I rhyming? Someone make it stop! (The rhythm's got us!) [Pre-Chorus] We're supposed to be on break! (Then why are we skanking?) This is a mistake! (My feet won't stop dancing!) [Chorus - Giving up] IT'S AN INTERMISSION! (Why is this a song?) AGAINST OUR VOLITION! (This feels so wrong!) The band needs water and a snack We'll be fifteen minutes, please come back BUT WE'RE STILL PLAYING THROUGH INTERMISSION! (Someone stop the drummer!) [Trombone Solo - Supposed to be getting coffee] [Verse 2 - Intermission announcements as lyrics] Please silence your cell phones for act two! (Turn them off!) The merch table's got stickers, shirts in blue! (Twenty bucks!) Our roadie Gerald needs to fix the mic (HE'S NOT REAL!) The bassist really needs to take a hike (TO THE BATHROOM!) These announcements shouldn't have a groove! (Yet here we are!) [Pre-Chorus] I'm literally exhausted! (We all need a break!) How much has this cost us? (Everything's at stake!) [Chorus - Desperately continuing] IT'S AN INTERMISSION! (This defies all logic!) MUSICAL TRANSMISSION! (Tragically nostalgic!) The venue says we can't play during breaks This is one of many mistakes WE'RE WASTING OUR WHOLE INTERMISSION! (Just stop playing!) I CAN'T! [Bridge - Band argument while playing] "Guys, seriously, we need to stop!" (But it's track seven on the album!) "Intermissions aren't tracks!" (This one is!) "The audience needs to pee!" (They can hold it!) "I HAVEN'T HAD WATER IN THREE HOURS!" (Sing through the pain!) [Saxophone Solo - While eating a sandwich] [Breakdown - Meta chaos] This is actively ruining the concept! (Of intermission!) We've lost all sense of direction! (Our mission!) Are we a band or are we a break? How much more can the audience take? QUICK! SOMEONE COUNT US OUT! One, two, three, four— (NO THAT STARTS MORE MUSIC!) [Final Chorus - Complete resignation] IT'S AN INTERMISSION! (That became a song!) BROADCAST TRANSMISSION! (We were wrong! So wrong!) The fifteen minutes are already up We played through our break like a bunch of— WAIT THE ACTUAL SHOW'S RESUMING! (But we never stopped!) [Outro - Panic] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back— (We never left!) From our intermission— (That was a song!) Please take your seats— (They never stood up!) For the second half— (Of the intermission?) NO! THE SHOW! (What's the difference anymore?) I need a real job... (That's not part of the song!) OR IS IT? ...intermission's over? (It never started!)1
