ALIVE [Intro] [Close female alto, piano and pulsing cello] And in the sweetness, I forget to fake it. I remember the pleasure of being awake. [Verse 1] I spent years trying to arrive at some version of myself who finally had it figured out and needed nothing else. Tried to heal every scar, correct every mistake, turn every crooked piece of me into worthy of praise. Then somewhere in the fixing, I forgot the strangest thing: I was alive before I learned what all this is supposed to mean. [Pre-Chorus] Maybe I don’t need another life to finally get this right. Maybe this one isn’t practice. Maybe this is mine. [Chorus] [Deep live drums, widening strings, grounded alto] I wanna be alive. Not almost. Not someday. Not when everything aligns. I wanna waste a little daylight. Change my plans. Change my mind. Take the road I can’t explain yet just because it feels like mine. I’ll be damned if I do not fully live while I am here, alive. [Verse 2] Let my beauty remain faceless. Let my worth go undefined. Let me change without explaining every version left behind. Let me dance until the kitchen turns to morning, turns to blue. Leave the dishes in the sink to spend another hour with you. I can find wisdom in my scars without somebody else to blame. See the ways I betray myself without turning them to shame. [Pre-Chorus] I don’t need to hate who I have been to choose who comes next. I can thank her for surviving then take it from here. [Chorus] I wanna be alive. Not almost. Not someday. Not when everything aligns. I wanna waste a little daylight. Change my plans. Change my mind. Take the road I can’t explain yet just because it feels like mine. I’ll be damned if I do not fully live while I am here, alive. [Bridge] [Voice and cello, restrained and raw] No more waiting for permission. No more practicing my life. No more saving who I could be for some better place and time. I have loved. I have broken. I have wasted. I have grown. I have stood inside a crowded room and somehow left myself at home. [Build] [Heartbeat kick, rising strings] So set my sights north before sunrise. Let me get lost and call it mine. Let me love without possession. Let me leave without regret. Let me use the years I’m given before there aren’t any left. [Breakdown] [Instruments fall away] I don’t want to die someday and realize I was careful with the whole damn thing. [Final Chorus] [Full live drums, sweeping strings, layered alto harmonies] I AM ALIVE. Not almost. Not someday. Not when everything aligns. Give me dirt beneath my bare feet. Give me tears. Give me nights. Give me people I can’t keep forever. Give me reasons to lose time. Give me every bitter sweetness that reminds me I’m alive. I’ll be damned if I do not fully live. I’ll be damned if I spend this life preparing for a life that never arrives. [Post-Chorus] Here. Alive. Scared. Alive. Lost. Alive. Loved. Alive. Changed. Alive. Still alive. [Outro] [Piano and cello fade beneath close vocal] Every intuition listened to. Every honest whim pursued. I let go of my regrets. Set my sights north before sunrise. Because I know this: I’ll be damned if I do not fully live while I am here, alive.
