The Smile that stole the Spellbook

Broadway, show tune, Disney villain song

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“The Smile That Stole the Spellbook”
(Sing to the tune of a cheesy, swaggering Broadway number or just imagine it with a lot of hair flips)
(Verse 1)
Golden curls that shine like Galleons new,
Robes in lilac, periwinkle, baby blue,
Five times Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming Smile,
He’ll sign your book and blind you all the while!
Banished banshees, wrestled werewolves, tamed a troll,
(That’s what he says, anyway, take it with a troll-sized bowl of salt),
Cornish pixies? Please, he wrote the book on those,
Chapter seven, page nine—everyone knows!
(Chorus)
Oh, Gildroy, Gildroy, flashing those pearly whites,
Obliviate’s your best friend on a Saturday night!
You didn’t fight the monsters, you just stole the tales,
But you look so good in photos, who can tell the details?
Gildroy, Gildroy, wink and wave goodbye,
The only thing you ever charmed was your own alibi!
(Verse 2)
Teaching Defense with a flourish and a twirl,
“Boys, be more like me—girls, give us a whirl!”
Let the pixies loose just to show how it’s done,
Then run for cover screaming, “Class is fun!”
Valentine’s Day dwarves in wings and golden harp,
Hearts on his robes—someone call Madam Pomfrey, quick, sharp!
Memory’s tricky when your whole life’s a con,
One broken wand later and the real story’s gone!
(Chorus)
Oh, Gildroy, Gildroy, now you’re waving from St. Mungo’s ward,
Long-term residents cheer when you sign their bedpan, “Yours in heroism, G.L.”—Oh Lord!
You smile at the Healer who brings you your pills,
Still convinced you’re the wizard with all of the skills!
(Bridge)
Somewhere a witch in Transylvania cries,
A werewolf in Wiltshire howls up at the skies,
A vampire’s laughing in his coffin so deep,
’Cause the man who “defeated” them can’t remember his own name to keep!
(Final Chorus – big finish)
Oh, Gildroy, Gildroy, the brightest star that never was,
Your greatest spell was making us believe because—
You looked so dashing with that winning grin,
Even when your memory charm backfired from within!
Gildroy, Gildroy, forever waving, forever proud,
The most famous wizard who never figured it out!
(Last line, spoken with a dazzling smile)
“Have you read my latest autobiography? …No? Well, neither have I!”
Hope that gave you a proper Lockhart-level earworm! ✨

2250/7500

“The Smile That Stole the Spellbook” (Sing to the tune of a cheesy, swaggering Broadway number or just imagine it with a lot of hair flips) (Verse 1) Golden curls that shine like Galleons new, Robes in lilac, periwinkle, baby blue, Five times Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming Smile, He’ll sign your book and blind you all the while! Banished banshees, wrestled werewolves, tamed a troll, (That’s what he says, anyway, take it with a troll-sized bowl of salt), Cornish pixies? Please, he wrote the book on those, Chapter seven, page nine—everyone knows! (Chorus) Oh, Gildroy, Gildroy, flashing those pearly whites, Obliviate’s your best friend on a Saturday night! You didn’t fight the monsters, you just stole the tales, But you look so good in photos, who can tell the details? Gildroy, Gildroy, wink and wave goodbye, The only thing you ever charmed was your own alibi! (Verse 2) Teaching Defense with a flourish and a twirl, “Boys, be more like me—girls, give us a whirl!” Let the pixies loose just to show how it’s done, Then run for cover screaming, “Class is fun!” Valentine’s Day dwarves in wings and golden harp, Hearts on his robes—someone call Madam Pomfrey, quick, sharp! Memory’s tricky when your whole life’s a con, One broken wand later and the real story’s gone! (Chorus) Oh, Gildroy, Gildroy, now you’re waving from St. Mungo’s ward, Long-term residents cheer when you sign their bedpan, “Yours in heroism, G.L.”—Oh Lord! You smile at the Healer who brings you your pills, Still convinced you’re the wizard with all of the skills! (Bridge) Somewhere a witch in Transylvania cries, A werewolf in Wiltshire howls up at the skies, A vampire’s laughing in his coffin so deep, ’Cause the man who “defeated” them can’t remember his own name to keep! (Final Chorus – big finish) Oh, Gildroy, Gildroy, the brightest star that never was, Your greatest spell was making us believe because— You looked so dashing with that winning grin, Even when your memory charm backfired from within! Gildroy, Gildroy, forever waving, forever proud, The most famous wizard who never figured it out! (Last line, spoken with a dazzling smile) “Have you read my latest autobiography? …No? Well, neither have I!” Hope that gave you a proper Lockhart-level earworm! ✨

0/500