"Thanks for Parking So Close" (A Sarcastic Ode to Bad Parkers)

(Verse 1) Thanks for parking so close, real kind of you Now I’m stuck, what the hell am I supposed to do? Next time, please, leave a tin opener behind So I can squeeze my car out without losing my mind (Pre-Chorus) Mirror to mirror, door against door Guess you never learned what parking lines are for (Chorus) Idiots like you should take an Uber Or maybe just walk, it’d sure be smoother If spatial awareness ain’t your thing Then public transport’s got a nice little ring (Verse 2) Did you even try, or just close your eyes? Your SUV’s now a fortress in disguise I’d leave you a note, but I doubt you’d care You probably park like this everywhere (Pre-Chorus) Bumper to bumper, side against side Hope you enjoy the scratches you’ll find (Chorus) Idiots like you should take an Uber Or maybe just walk, it’d sure be smoother If parallel parking’s not your game Then maybe just quit, we’ll all feel the same (Bridge) Maybe next time, just stay at home Or practice with some traffic cones ’Cause if you keep blocking me in like this I might just lose my cool and make a list… (Outro) Thanks for parking so close, you made my day Next time, try thinking before you park this way Or better yet—don’t drive at all And save us all from your parking stall!