Song Title: “The Pardon Bash” (To the tune & rhythm of “The Monster Mash” – witty, quirky, with bounce and irony) [Spoken Intro – spooky, playful tone] It was late one night, at Mar-a-Lago’s lair, Trump was in his jammies, with tousled hair. He grabbed his Sharpie with a guilty flash, And threw himself… a pardon bash! [Chorus] He did the Pardon Bash—(The Pardon Bash!) It was a legal splash—(A legal splash!) He cleared his buddy’s stash—(Of stolen cash!) He danced a power flash—(The Pardon Bash!) [Verse 1] He pardoned friends with crimes galore, From hush-money slips to tax decor. But then it got wild—he looked ahead, “I’ll pardon Diddy!”—Wait, Diddy’s not dead?! [Bridge – spoken] Yes, he said it bold, without a blink— “The man ain’t guilty yet… but what do you think?” Why wait for trials, when you’ve got style? Predict the verdict and skip the file! [Chorus] He threw the Pardon Bash—(Oh what a scene!) Before the jury passed—(That’s pretty keen!) He might forgive your past—(Before you crash!) With a future-clearing smash—(It’s the Pardon Bash!) [Verse 2] He pardoned a banker who "misplaced" some dough, A weatherman who made it snow (you know). A guy with 50 DUIs and a cat named Slush— Trump just winked and said, “Hush hush!” [Bridge – spoken] “If you knew me once, or fluffed my hair, You get a pardon—poof! You’re fair!” He’s got more mercy than a nun with snacks— If your name trends, you get the fax. [Chorus] He did the Pardon Bash—(For crooks and stars!) He’ll free your yacht and lift your bars! No need to beg or dash— Just show up to the Bash—(The Pardon Bash!) [Outro – spoken dramatically] So if you’re shady, slick, or just plain rash— Slide into Trump’s Presidential Flash. Forget due process or a courtroom clash… You might get invited… To the Pardon Bash.
