Snowball's Waltz (From the Opera: The Science of Animals)

They call me Snowball. I am a cat. I'm Canadian, if you're keeping score, I lived a tidy, private life — a nap, a bowl, a closed back door, Until one afternoon a hair of mine went wandering off my back And landed, quite uninvited, in a laboratory's evidence rack — Nobody asked my leave. Nobody sent a card, a note, a warning, And now I'm cited in the courts as science's newest darling! [Aria - Quick Lilting Waltz, Contralto, Playful and Showing Off] [Verse 1] I never asked to be examined, never asked to be admired, I merely shed the way one does when idly, mildly, tired, But one lost hair upon a sleeve became the whole affair — And now they've named a method after fur I didn't spare! [Coloratura Flourish - Ornamental Run on "spare"] [Verse 2] They spun my strand beneath a lens, they mapped it out in letters, They proved that even household fluff can put a man in fetters, Nobody asked if I approved, nobody sought permission — I simply groomed myself one day and triggered their commission! [Coloratura Flourish - Ornamental Run, Wider Leap] [Bridge - Building, Playful Smirk] So spare me all your compliments, your "clever cat," your praises, I didn't solve a thing on purpose, I was napping through the phases, Some scientist got credit for a thing I never chose — I'm simply here to say, for once, that cats deserve the prose! [Peak - Extended Virtuosic Coloratura, Full Range Display] Oh, I'm the cat who cracked the case while fast asleep and preening, I'm the evidence that strolled right in without a hint of scheming, I didn't ask for fame or footnotes, didn't ask to be renowned — I'm Snowball, and I solved a murder simply being found! [Chorus - Modulate Up a Half Step, Tempo Pushes, Runs More Elaborate] I'm the cat who cracked the case while fast asleep and preening, I'm the evidence that strolled right in without a hint of scheming, I didn't ask for fame or footnotes, didn't ask to be renowned — I'm Snowball, and I solved a murder simply being found! [Final Turn - Coy, Teasing, Wry] So don't you dare call this an honor, don't you dare call it glory — I was minding my own business when you made me part of your story! [Spoken, Dry, Charmingly Put Out] ...and frankly? I've never even met the juree. Now if you'll excuse me — some grooming requires my attention, in private, thank you very much. [Final Chord - Light and Bright, Resolved, Wink Intact]