They have seen my pain. They cleaned my blood. Years go by and I’m still numb. They don’t even question why, just assume drugs. Everything goes back to how it was. I’m just a paranoid motherfucker who’s useless and dumb. Never even bothered with are you okay hun. Nobody ever gave a fuck. And I’m tired and some. Awesome. Okay they maybe asked once, Let me fucking talk. You always interrupt. You can respond once I’m done. But never realized that death has already come. First responders anit fast enough to come. I’ve been practically practicing to end my life for half my life. I’ve finally done it deep enough. Nobody ever truly gave a fuck. They all claimed real love. But this distance tells a story of a different one. Now I know that none of this has been real. Not even close. Too attached to the dope. Too attached to the phone. Too attached to the dope. Too attached to the phone. Too many voices in my head, still I feel alone. All these years, all these words, still misunderstood. They keep asking who I am, never why I would. Cracked glass, same reflection. Dead ends, missed connections. Everybody wants answers, nobody wants questions. Can’t even have a glass in the room. Without everyone watching me. Where was this love my whole life. I can hold a knife at the table, but can’t have a glass on my own. I’m dying to bleed out. I’m craving the piece where breath is indifference to me. I’m dying for love. I’m done trying to be loved. Woah Baby. ruh. I ohh I. Ooooh I oooooh I. Ruh ruh ruh. I ohh waa waa waa.
