(Intro) (Crackling gramophone record noise, muted 1920s jazz trumpet solo, leading into a sudden heavy swing-step beat drop with wobbling electro-bass) (Verse 1) You see me with my sweater green, the friendliest guy you’ve ever seen A gentle smile, a tidy lawn, up at the crack of dawn You think I'm just a simple guy, who wouldn't hurt a buzzing fly Well, wipe that smirk right off your face, 'cause you don't know this place! (Pre-Chorus) (Tempo builds, horns get faster and brassier) You judge the cover of the book! You never take a deeper look! Neighborino, hear me shout! You don't know what I'm all about! (Chorus) (Heavy electro swing beat drop, heavy bass synth) You don't know diddly! No, you don't know diddly-doo! You think you got me figured out, but I've got news for you! You don't know diddly! Not a single diddly-dang! Behind this sweater vest, my friend, there’s a whole new gang! (Verse 2) (Swing jazz clarinet with heavy dubstep sub-bass) I’ve walked through fires, I’ve held the line I keep my spirit feelin' fine You call me soft, you call me square While I am livin' on a prayer! So keep your assumptions on the shelf, 'Cause I’m a mystery to myself! (Flandersism Scat-Rap) (Fast swing-hop beat, walking upright bass mixed with aggressive dubstep wobble) Okely-dokely, doodly-neighborino, Servin' up a slice of life, no jalapeño! Hi-didley-ho! Watch the tempo flow, A noodly-doodly rhymin' spree, a-go-go-go! Got a squishy-wishy feeling in my tummy-wummy, Yummy-wummy mocktail, sweet and gummy! Scrambly-dambly, holy-moly, roly-poly, Keepin' it holy, never melancholy! Diddly-ding-dong, diddly-dang-dong, Singing a super-duper neighborly song! Gosh-darn-diddly, rootin'-tootin'-riddly, Think you know Flanders? Not even a little-y! (Pre-Chorus) (Horns build up alongside a rising electronic drop) Oh, okely-dokely, listen close! I’m more than just a friendly host! Stand back now, give me space! Put a smile upon your face! (Chorus) (Full big band brass meets wobbling dubstep bass drop) You don't know diddly! No, you don't know diddly-doo! You think you got me figured out, but I've got news for you! You don't know diddly! Not a single diddly-dang! Behind this sweater vest, my friend, there’s a whole new gang! (Bridge) (Gramophone filter effect, solo piano, then heavy bass kicks back in) Diddly-doodly, diddly-dee! There’s so much more to little old me! Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, But nobody really knows Ned Flanders! (Outro) (Fast swing rhythm fading into crackling vintage vinyl) So watch your mouth and mind your tone, In this happy little home! Okely-dokely-dope! You don't know diddly! (Final sharp horn hit and record stop effect)
