[Intro - Male Lead] Yeah… Beat that game. Easy. (Pause) Rang. (Beat drops) ⸻ [Chorus - Both] [Male Lead] I beat Elden Rang, didn’t die once, man One hand on the controller, other hand on a sandwich [Male Hype] You died like Six hundred and eighty three times! [Male Lead] Doesn’t count if I was learning, that’s part of the plan [Both] I beat Elden Rang, yeah I made it look light Final boss saw me and logged off the fight [Male Hype] He packed you up! ⸻ [Verse 1 - Male Lead] Armor shining, slightly glowing Walked in smooth, cinematic slow motion Boss health bar started shrinking He sensed my aura and began choking [Male Hype] You panic-rolled off a cliff. [Male Lead] Strategic descent, that’s advanced positioning I don’t grind levels, levels grind me Inventory heavy, reality can’t find me [Male Hype] You googled that sword. [Male Lead] Research is power, that’s called wisdom NPCs whisper when I enter the system [Male Hype] They attack on sight! [Male Lead] Respect just looks different in that dimension. ⸻ [Chorus - Both] I beat Elden Rang, flawless campaign NPC salute when I log in again [Male Hype] They swing immediately! [Male Lead] That’s admiration, slightly aggressive Victory posture, highly impressive ⸻ (GOLDEN RATIO FAKE-OUT SECTION) (Beat cuts. Ambient hum returns.) [Male Lead - Whisper] New Game Plus. [Male Hype] You never finished the first run. Pause. [Male Lead - Calm] Plus. (Beat returns heavier.) ⸻ [Verse 2 - Male Lead] Dragon breathed fire, I called it mild breeze Hit him with combos mostly using my knees [Male Hype] You were mashing buttons! [Male Lead] Aggressive mobility, unpredictable stance Boss tried a phase shift, I canceled his plans Summoned no help, did it solo [Male Hype] You summoned three people! [Male Lead] They were emotional support, that’s different though Controller vibrating — applause in my hand When I rage quit, understand I’m bored. Obviously bored. ⸻ [Final Chorus - Both] I beat Elden Rang, put the crown on [Male Hype] It’s a helmet! [Male Lead] Same thing, I won I beat Elden Rang, tell the Lands Between If they need a hero, they can message me [Male Hype] You uninstalled it! [Male Lead] To give others a chance. ⸻ [Outro] (Beat drops out) [Male Lead - Confident Whisper] Light work. [Male Hype] You cried. Cut.
