repent (Brandi 🥀Rose RmX)

[Intro — clean electric guitar with delay, low atmospheric hum] I say what I see and I see what I say Higher my thinking, the higher I stay I know I’m a liar, but just for today I repent I pray the Lord that my soul it be kept Today I repent I pray to God that my soul it be kept Today I repent [Verse 1 — Brandi, restrained rhythmic vocal] I learned repentance before I learned desire Learned every good girl oughta be scared of the fire Confessed things I hadn’t even done yet Just in case heaven was keeping a debt I know the scripture, baby, I know the drill Bow your head, bite your tongue, bend your will But I’ve met good people they called unclean And I’ve seen clean hands do terrible things So what am I sorry for? That’s complicated Some of my sins have been overstated Some of my worst never made their list Funny what people decide God calls wicked I’ve lied to myself, I’ve weaponized love Asked for forgiveness, then fucked it back up Held onto anger like proof I was right Made somebody pay for somebody else’s crime So yeah, I’ve got things I need forgiven But existing ain’t one of the sins I’ve committed [Pre-Chorus — bass enters] Prone to fear Prone to doubt Prone to worry If you’re waiting on perfection Lord, don’t hurry I’ve got a lifetime left To get some things right But I’m done apologizing Just to make somebody sleep at night [Chorus — soaring vocal, full band] I say what I see and I see what I say Higher my thinking, the higher I stay I know I’m a liar, but just for today I repent I pray the Lord that my soul it be kept Oh, today I repent I pray to God that my soul it be kept Today I repent I pray the Lord that my soul it be kept [Verse 2 — drums settle into a darker groove] I’ve knelt at bedsides, I’ve bargained at two a.m. Promised if You fixed it, I’d never fuck up again Morning came around and I was still just me Funny how desperation bargains cheap I’ve called it love when I needed attention Called revenge a form of self-protection Said “I’m fine” when I wanted them hurt Put on my Sunday best and dragged hell into church I’ve closed good doors before they could close on me Turned suspicion into prophecy I’ve taken something tender, squeezed till it broke Then blamed the other hands for letting it go Those are mine Write ‘em down I’ll answer every one But don’t hand me somebody else’s shame And tell me what I’ve done [Pre-Chorus — Brandi building] I don’t repent for surviving I repent for who I hurt while I did There’s a difference between being broken And breaking somebody with it Higher thought Higher love If that’s where we’re trying to go Then I’ll bring You what is actually mine And leave the rest below [Chorus — bigger, backing vocals answering] I say what I see and I see what I say Higher my thinking, the higher I stay I know I’m a liar, but just for today I repent I pray the Lord that my soul it be kept Oh, today I repent I pray to God that my soul it be kept Today I repent I pray the Lord that my soul it be kept [Bridge — instruments fall away, organ underneath] Maybe heaven never asked me To hate myself this much Maybe guilt was meant to move me Not become the thing I was Maybe grace ain’t pretending There was never any blood Maybe repentance isn’t shame Maybe it’s turning around When you’ve finally seen enough [Pause] So here’s what I’m sorry for— Every “I love you” I used as a leash Every truth I bent when the truth wasn’t convenient Every good thing I ruined ‘Cause I didn’t trust good things to stay Every time I knew better And chose worse anyway Those are my sins. You can keep the ones You made up for me. [Final Chorus — explosive, gospel-rock backing vocals] I SAY WHAT I SEE AND I SEE WHAT I SAY HIGHER MY THINKING, THE HIGHER I STAY I KNOW I’M A LIAR, BUT JUST FOR TODAY I REPENT I PRAY THE LORD THAT MY SOUL IT BE KEPT OH, TODAY I REPENT I PRAY TO GOD THAT MY SOUL IT BE KEPT TODAY I REPENT I PRAY THE LORD THAT MY SOUL IT BE KEPT [Post-Chorus — band continuing, Brandi ad-libs] Prone to fear Prone to doubt Prone to worry Still here. Higher thought Higher love I’m learning. [Outro — clean guitar from intro] I don’t repent for surviving. I repent for who I hurt while I did. Today I repent.