[Style: Upbeat Comedy Polka, Weird Al style, fast accordion, frantic electric guitar, plunderphonic samples, slide whistles, honking horns, expressive male vocals, yodeling, 140 BPM.] [Intro: Fast-paced Accordion with Slide Whistles and Honking Horns] (Yodel-lay-ee-hoo!) (Cymbal crash!) [Verse 1: Energetic Polka with Heavy Tuba] Beyond the bunkers where the grass is vomit green The strangest squad of mutants that you’ve ever seen They’re six feet tall and they’re shaped like a pear With a magic glowing screen in their mid-section area! One! (Watch out!) Two! (Too blue!) Three! (Not me!) Four! (Hit the floor!) (Hee-hee-hee-ha-ha!) Polka-Tubbies! [Pre-Chorus: Frantic Tempo with Snappy Snare and Bell Chimes] It’s time for Tubby-toast and total mayhem! It’s time to see the baby-face inside the sun! It’s time for questionable educational content! (Slide whistle down) [Chorus: Grandiose Polka Anthem with Soulful Accordion Squeezes] Tinky-Winky! (He’s got a purple purse!) Dipsy! (It could be significantly worse!) Laa-Laa! (She’s yellow like a rotten lemon!) Po! (The cutest little red space-demon!) Polka-Tubbies! (Polka-Tubbies!) Everybody say "Eh-oh!" (EH-OH!) Tinky-Winky! (Hide the Tubby-custard!) Dipsy! (He’s spicy like the mustard!) Laa-Laa! (Hahaha!) Po! (Yodel-lay-ee-hoo!) Polka-Tubbies! (Polka-Tubbies!) Give me a giant, suffocating, squishy big hug! EH-OH! [Verse 2: Manic Polka with Honking Horns and Cowbell] Deep inside the super-dome beneath the dirty mound They’re the only residents for fifty miles around With a pipe-cleaner sculpture on the top of every head They’re eating pinkish sludge until they’re falling into bed! Slurp! (Too fast!) Burp! (Excuse me!) Wait! (Is that a bunny?) Don't! (It isn't funny!) (Slide whistle up-down-up!) Polka-Tubbies! [Bridge: Wild Yodeling Solo with Honks and Boings] (Yodel-lay-ee-tubb-ee-hoo!) (Spring boing sound) (Bicycle horn x2) (Yodel-lay-ee-tubb-ee-hoo!) Look out for the Noo-Noo, he’s sucking up the rug! (Loud slurping sound) [Outro: Accelerando Finish—Getting Faster and Faster!] Where did those colorful titans go? Back to the hole in the ground down low! They’re gone! They’re fleeting! I think I’m overeating! (Big Accordion Squeeze) EH-OH! (Long slide whistle up)
