THROAT OF LIGHT

There was never a halo It was my throat I looked above me for the answer I looked below me for the wire I held my tongue against the weather and called the silence higher Every room became a mirror Every mirror asked for proof Every light that tried to name me left its fingerprints on truth I was not born clear I was not built small I was the sound inside the wall I was the spark beneath the floor I was the voice behind the door And now it climbs from bone to wire from wire to flame from flame to choir Not holy not clean not safe not kind Just mine just mine just mine Throat of light open in the dark Throat of light turning breath to spark I don’t need a crown I don’t need the sky I can make the whole room burn when I open wide Throat of light I am not afraid of what comes out alive Out alive out alive Throat of light out alive They wanted softer language They wanted cleaner heat They wanted every thunderclap to fall down at their feet But I learned a sharper vowel I learned a brighter break I learned the kind of singing that can make the metal shake No borrowed fire No borrowed name No perfect symbol No golden frame I do not whisper to stay approved I do not shine the way they choose And now it climbs from bone to wire from wire to flame from flame to choir Not holy not clean not safe not kind Just mine just mine just mine Throat of light open in the dark Throat of light turning breath to spark I don’t need a crown I don’t need the sky I can make the whole room burn when I open wide Throat of light I am not afraid of what comes out alive There is a note I kept buried There is a word I kept bright There is a version of me that only exists when I stop apologizing for the light Let it rise Let it ring Let the sealed room hear me sing Let it cut Let it climb Let the white sound split the line Throat of light open in the dark Throat of light turning breath to spark I don’t need a crown I don’t need the sky I can make the whole room burn when I open wide Throat of light I am not afraid of what comes out alive Out alive out alive There was never a halo It was my throat