[Intro: boot stomps, concertina drone, three male voices] [Baritone Singer] "Way-hey!" [Tenor Singer] "FOOT UP!" [Bass Singer] "PULL ‘ER FLAT!" [Verse 1: gritty baritone lead] The Eastern wind is kicking up across Ontario blue, The skipper yells, “The main’s not flat, I need some grunt from you!”. I pull my old rank sailing gloves on, stiff with sweat and spray, And plant one foot on the cabin top to haul away. I twist my spine, I lock my knee, lean backward from the spar, And haul the bloody line across while staring at a star. [Pre-Chorus: voices enter progressively] [Baritone Singer] "Is the outhaul moving?" [Tenor Singer] "NOT YET!" [Baritone Singer] "Is my lumbar screaming?" [Bass Singer] "YOU CAN BLOODY BET!!" [Three-Part Harmony] "HEAVE HO!!!" [Chorus: three-part male harmony, strong hauling cadence] FOOT UP! gloves ON! HAUL AWAY, HAUL! Eyes to the heavens, ear to the pawl! Tendon and bone, boot-heel and knees, Pulling for glory into the breeze! FOOT UP! gloves ON! HAUL THAT LINE! Every last sinew of an aging spine! An inch for the glory, a foot for the pose, [Baritone Singer] "WHO’S THE KING OF THE OUTHAUL?" [Tenor + Bass Singers] "NOBODY KNOWS!" (NOBODY KNOWS!) [Instrumental Break: fiddle and concertina] [Verse 2: baritone lead, harmony responses] Behind me sits another man who’s watched me long enough, He reckons there’s a better way, it surely can’t be tough. He checks the clew, he checks the leed, then rises from his seat, And takes the line with quiet pride: [Tenor Singer] "You’re doing it wrong, mate!" Gloves on! Foot up! Now he’s staring at the sky, He drops his hips, he sets his jaw and gives the line a try. He hauls until his face goes red and swears the bloody thing moved. The skipper sights along the foot: [Bass Singer] "A sixteenth is all it moved" [Chorus: bigger three-part harmony] FOOT UP! gloves ON! HAUL AWAY, HAUL! Eyes to the heavens, ear to the pawl! Tendon and bone, boot-heel and knees, Pulling for glory into the breeze! FOOT UP! gloves ON! HAUL THAT LINE! Welcome to the Sailing-Man Outhaul Final! An inch for the glory, a foot for the pose, [Baritone Singer] "WHO’S THE KING OF THE OUTHAUL?" [Tenor + Bass Singers] "NOBODY KNOWS!" (Nobody Knows!) [Bridge: a cappella three-part call-and-response] [Baritone Singer] "Use your legs!" [Tenor Singer] "YOUR HANDS ARE WRONG!" [Bass Singer] "Get down lower!" [Tenor Singer] "PULL IT LONG!" [Baritone Singer] "Shift your weight!" [All] "LET ME TRY!" [Three-Part Harmony] All the men all know the trick, But none can tell you why! [Build: stomps accelerating] [Baritone Singer] "Who’s got the muscle?" [Tenor Singer] "I DO!" [Baritone Singer] "Who’s got the technique?" [Bass Singer] "I DO!" [Baritone Singer] "Who’s gonna move it?" [Tenor + Bass Singers] "I AM!" [Three-Part Harmony] THEN GRAB THE BLOODY LINE! and .. Heave!!! (Heave Ho!!) [Final Chorus: huge three-part harmony] FOOT UP! gloves ON! HAUL AWAY, HAUL! Eyes to the heavens, ear to the pawl! Every man aboard knows just what to do, When somebody else is pulling harder than you! FOOT UP! gloves ON! HAUL THAT LINE! Welcome to the Sailing-man Outhaul Final! An hour of pulling, profanity and sweat, [Three-Part Harmony] FOOT UP! gloves ON! (SHE AIN’T FLAT YET!) [Outro: stomps, voices only] Skipper says, "That’s good." ... [Baritone Singer] "How far?" [Bass Singer] "An inch and a quarter." [Three-Part Harmony, triumphant] AN INCH AND A QUARTER! [Baritone Singer] "Who got it?" [Three-Part Harmony] [All] NICK DID! [End]
