Verse 1] He said I’d miss him when he left, I missed the maid, not the man — theft! Now I'm sipping poolside in silk robes, While he's out there folding his own clothes. I got freedom, funds, and matching sets, My lawyers? Sharp. My standards? Jets. I'm booked for brunch, booked for skin care — Booked and blessed, baby. Life's not fair. [Chorus] 🎶 I’ve been retired since the divorce check cleared, Stress disappeared and glam reappeared. No 9 to 5, just 5-star days — Paid in peace and Cartier. Don’t need a man, got alimony flair — Invested in me, now I own the air. I’m not bitter, I’m just revered — Retired, honey. Since the divorce check cleared. [Verse 2] He’s posting throwbacks. I’m posting yachts. I turned trauma into real estate plots. Told me I’d never make it alone — Now he’s renting, I’m building my throne. Yoga at noon, lovers at ten, I age like wine and bank like men. Self-care’s my job, and I do it well — Ex-men fade, but Grammy excels. [Chorus] 🎤 I’ve been retired since the divorce check hit, Now every spa day is a power trip. I budget in diamonds, not dollar stores, And I tip in euros, not metaphors. He said, “Money changed you” — babe, it did, Now I only cry on Chanel lids. Not a phase, not a mood — it’s a whole damn tier — Retired rich since the check cleared. [Bridge – Spoken / glass clinks, lounging tone] I didn't lose a husband. I gained a lifestyle. My skincare’s glowing. My inbox? Closed. And just like that… So was the joint account. [Final Chorus – Slow start, big finish] 💎 I’ve been retired since the paperwork passed, Swapped his last name for first-class. No more drama, no more chores — Just spa robes, floors with marble doors. If peace had a price? He paid it in full — Now I live soft, slow, sacred, and cool. I don’t chase — I sip and steer… Retired, baby. Since the divorce check cleared. [Outro – whispery flex] And he still pays… for the wifi I used to block him.
