𝑨𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒔 𝒗𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒚 𝑮𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏

[Spoken Intro — Artemis] Hello my good patrons… lords and ladies of the House of Epic. Gather close, warm your mugs, and lend your ears. For Artemis shall regale you with a tale… Of how one Booty Goblin… messed with the wrong country. Verse 1 Hello, gather ‘round my friends, It’s time to roast the Booty. His words are weak, his rhythm’s bleak, His goblin‑pause is moody. I watched him rhyme, I watched him flop, I felt a deep despair… In this battle of rapier wit, He came wildly unprepared. Pre‑Chorus Now I sit with somber notes, A sadness starts to grow… That my goblin kin— [shouts] THAT SUCKS REAL BAD! [back to singing] His failure starts to show. Chorus Let Artemis the Love Goblin Come in to save the day. I play the lute— (or could do flute?) To make the Booty Goblin pay. If you mess with me or country friends, I’m afraid you gotta go. Don’t try to bring a comeback, son— ‘Cause just like you… It’ll come in slow. Verse 2 Now Country Goblin minds his chores, He’s humble, kind, and steady. But Booty Goblin flaps his gums Like his insults ain’t half‑baked already. He strutted in with swagger thin, A rooster with no crow— But when the tavern lights came up, His courage… didn’t show. Pre‑Chorus 2 So I rise with goblin pride, My heart begins to glow— For when kin are mocked, We stand as one, And let the whole bar know. Chorus Let Artemis the Love Goblin Come in to save the day. I play the lute— (or could do flute?) To make the Booty Goblin pay. If you mess with me or country friends, I’m afraid you gotta go. Don’t try to bring a comeback, son— ‘Cause just like you… It’ll come in slow. Bridge — Tavern Call & Response [Artemis] Booty Goblin talks real big! [Tavern] But he can’t back it up! [Artemis] Tried to roast a country king! [Tavern] But he ran outta luck! [Artemis] Now Artemis is steppin’ in— [Tavern] So raise your tankards high! [Artemis] For goblins stand for goblins, friends— [Tavern] And Booty’s roast is dry! Final Chorus Let Artemis the Love Goblin Come in to save the day. I’ll tune my lute, And pluck the truth, To make the Booty Goblin pay. If you mess with me or country friends, You’ll learn what goblins know: That love is strong, And roast is long— And Booty’s just too slow. Outro — Spoken So let this tale be lesson taught, Across the tavern floor… If you pick a fight with Country Goblin… Artemis settles the score.