Why’s It So Hard Just to be me?

I know which parts get a welcome here
Which ones make the conversation disappear
By the time I’ve worked out what to say
The moment’s gone and I’ve nodded anyway

[Female ad-lib — Quiet]
(There you go again)

[Pre-Chorus — Building]
I learned to read a room
Before I learned to speak
Now everybody’s comfortable
And I can barely breathe

[Chorus — Full band, urgent]
Why’s it so hard just to be?
Say what I mean without an apology
Why does a look from somebody else
Get to change how I see myself?

I’m so tired of keeping face
Being liked and feeling out of place
I want to say what I mean
And mean what I say
Without rehearsing all damn day
Why’s it so hard just to be?

[Female backing]
(Just let me be)

[Verse 2 — More rhythmic, sharper]
I say “I don’t mind” when I know I do
Then I’m angry you believed me
Want you to see what I won’t show you
Make it hard, then say you don’t see me

And I do it too, I decide too fast
Turn somebody’s moment into who they are
Maybe you’re watching your words like me
Two people talking, neither speaking freely

[Female ad-lib]
(What are we protecting?)

[Pre-Chorus — Rising]
A raised eyebrow
And I take it all back
How did something that small
Get a hold like that?

[Chorus — Full band]
Why’s it so hard just to be?
Say what I mean without an apology
Why does a look from somebody else
Get to change how I see myself?

I’m so tired of keeping face
Being liked and feeling out of place
I want to say what I mean
And mean what I say
Without rehearsing all damn day
Why’s it so hard just to be?

[Female backing]
(Just let me be)

[Bridge — Drums drop, exposed male vocal]
Some of these masks got me through
Rooms where the truth would cost too much
I don’t hate the person I had to be
I just wish he knew when to stop

[Female — Close, clear]
(Who are you keeping safe?)

[Male — Building]
You might not like what I finally say
I might get it wrong, I might need to change
But let it be something I actually believe
Let me hear my own voice
And know it’s me

[Final Chorus — Explosive, layered vocals]
Why’s it so hard just to be?
Say what I mean without an apology
You can think what you want of me
Why do I take your word over me?

I’m so tired of keeping face
Being liked and feeling out of place
I want to say what I mean
And mean what I say
Without rehearsing all damn day
Why’s it so hard just to be?

[Female backing — Rising]
(Just let me be)
(You don’t have to make it okay)

[Outro — Band cuts, intimate]
I almost said “It’s nothing.”
But it is.

[Female — Soft]
(Then tell me)

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[Verse 1 — Male lead, immediate entrance, restrained] I change my voice when I pick up the phone Got a face for the room and a face for home Laugh at a joke that I don’t find funny Say I’m doing fine with my jaw clenched tight I know which parts get a welcome here Which ones make the conversation disappear By the time I’ve worked out what to say The moment’s gone and I’ve nodded anyway [Female ad-lib — Quiet] (There you go again) [Pre-Chorus — Building] I learned to read a room Before I learned to speak Now everybody’s comfortable And I can barely breathe [Chorus — Full band, urgent] Why’s it so hard just to be? Say what I mean without an apology Why does a look from somebody else Get to change how I see myself? I’m so tired of keeping face Being liked and feeling out of place I want to say what I mean And mean what I say Without rehearsing all damn day Why’s it so hard just to be? [Female backing] (Just let me be) [Verse 2 — More rhythmic, sharper] I say “I don’t mind” when I know I do Then I’m angry you believed me Want you to see what I won’t show you Make it hard, then say you don’t see me And I do it too, I decide too fast Turn somebody’s moment into who they are Maybe you’re watching your words like me Two people talking, neither speaking freely [Female ad-lib] (What are we protecting?) [Pre-Chorus — Rising] A raised eyebrow And I take it all back How did something that small Get a hold like that? [Chorus — Full band] Why’s it so hard just to be? Say what I mean without an apology Why does a look from somebody else Get to change how I see myself? I’m so tired of keeping face Being liked and feeling out of place I want to say what I mean And mean what I say Without rehearsing all damn day Why’s it so hard just to be? [Female backing] (Just let me be) [Bridge — Drums drop, exposed male vocal] Some of these masks got me through Rooms where the truth would cost too much I don’t hate the person I had to be I just wish he knew when to stop [Female — Close, clear] (Who are you keeping safe?) [Male — Building] You might not like what I finally say I might get it wrong, I might need to change But let it be something I actually believe Let me hear my own voice And know it’s me [Final Chorus — Explosive, layered vocals] Why’s it so hard just to be? Say what I mean without an apology You can think what you want of me Why do I take your word over me? I’m so tired of keeping face Being liked and feeling out of place I want to say what I mean And mean what I say Without rehearsing all damn day Why’s it so hard just to be? [Female backing — Rising] (Just let me be) (You don’t have to make it okay) [Outro — Band cuts, intimate] I almost said “It’s nothing.” But it is. [Female — Soft] (Then tell me)

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