Hot Wizard Summer - B's Side

[Intro - no music, spoken deeply and ominously, huge reverb] “The Summer of brat is over; the time of Wizard has come!” [thunder crashing] (ah-hahah. Ahh-hahahahaha!) [cue music] [Hook] Pointy hats in spangled colors Mystic sisters Magus brothers Chill Touch, Fireball, Magic Missile; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. Magic wand; don’t need no rubbers All my friends spell-slinging stunners Flowing robes, Wyrd juicy dumpers; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. [verse - female lead vocal] Hail and well met, how Arcane can you get? Ancient Evil sealed, mythic intellect Tongues! How many languages? What dialect? You chose a martial class? (wack!) That’s regret. No matter, I’m a caster, and I’ll have your back in battle (Explaining what that means would be a pain in the Astral) I can guide you on the path, provide a decent education Adventuring’s a dangerous yet lucrative vocation But if we’re to engage in jolly co-operation, You will first need to bathe, I’ll cast Prestidigitation There! I can smell everything you can’t see A conjuror of cheap tricks in Invisibility! That’s yet another reason that you need me Now get cracking on the whacking and earn your keep If we come across goblins, golems, trolls or gnolls, Meat Shields go first. That’s how Wizards scroll Ha-ha-ha— [Break] Halt! WizardTime. [Hook] Pointy hats in spangled colors Mystic sisters Magus brothers Chill Touch, Fireball, Magic Missile; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. Magic wand; don’t need no rubbers All my friends spell-slinging stunners Flowing robes, Wyrd juicy dumpers; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. [verse - male lead vocals] Welcome to my tower! Here, have some Magic Powder Have a seat upon my etching stool and savor the encounter I’ve brewed a little potion, a special stew for you Don’t be scared, just take a sip (Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!) Come. Ponder yonder Orb with me Or would you rather gaze upon my Orrery? It’s massive, yes, but must needs be If one wants to master Astrology What’s that, do you say? You find the size too extreme? Then let’s Fly to the forest on my Phantom Steed Supreme! If my Arcane Eye spies a dryad in the wild Don’t be surprised if we’re mutually beguiled I’ve grown quite fond of Ash, there’s no tree I’d rather be in I’ve strived to change my diet and she tells me that she’s vegan She dons herself in leaves and insists that they’re uppers My Hero’s Feast: gon' eat that booty for supper (om nom-nom duh-dum duh-dum—) [Break] Halt! WizardTime [Hook] Pointy hats in spangled colors Mystic sisters Magus brothers Chill Touch, Fireball, Magic Missile; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. Magic wand; don’t need no rubbers All my friends spell-slinging stunners Flowing robes, Wyrd juicy dumpers; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. [Bridge] We do a little magic. We cause a little havoc. We make Quests for all the peasants. We mix potions effervescent. We scry dames in crystal balls. We find joy in false walls. We craft weapons for enchantment. We cast Torsion on combatants. We conjure nudes for all the witches. [male vocal] Minor Image extra inches. [Break] Halt! WizardTime. [Hook] Pointy hats in spangled colors Mystic sisters Magus brothers Chill Touch, Fireball, Magic Missile; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. Magic wand; don’t need no rubbers All my friends spell-slinging stunners Flowing robes, Wyrd juicy dumpers; (Ooh yeah!) Hot Wizard Summer. [End]