Citizens. Before the water boils. We must choose our weapon. The Leaf. There are three pillars of the Empire. Listen closely. First. English Breakfast or Assam. The Infantry. Dark... Malty... ...Robust. It is designed to wake the dead. Drink this in the morning... With milk... To drink it without milk... is masochism. Second. Earl Grey. The Officer's choice. Infused with the oil... of Bergamot. It is a perfume. A cologne you can drink... Now.... A warning... ... Do not drown the Earl in milk. It curdles the citrus notes. Serve it black. ...Or with a slice of lemon. To put milk in Earl Grey... is to put ketchup on a painting. Third. Lapsang Souchong. The Smoker. Pine-smoked black tea. Open the tin. It smells of bonfires... Of burning ships... Of victory. It is an acquired taste. Like whisky... or revenge. Serve it strictly black. It is not a tea for the nursery. It is a tea for the bunker. One spoon for each person. And one for the pot. The "Pot Spoon" is not a suggestion. It is a tax... paid to the ceramic gods. Select your leaf. And commit. Carry on, carry on.
