(Intro: A fast, driving drum fill leads into a chaotic, distorted, high-tempo guitar riff. The sound is aggressive and slightly off-key.) (Count-in shouted aggressively): ONE! TWO! THREE! FUCK YEAH! The Song On the first day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: (Screamed/Shouted): A FINAL EVICTION NOTICE! On the second day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the third day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the fourth day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the fifth day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: (Screamed): FIVE BROKEN WINDOWS! On the sixth day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Six cops a-swearing, Five broken windows! Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the seventh day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Seven rats a-chewing, Six cops a-swearing, Five broken windows! Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the eighth day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Eight friends passed out, Seven rats a-chewing, Six cops a-swearing, Five broken windows! Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the ninth day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Nine stitches bleeding, Eight friends passed out, Seven rats a-chewing, Six cops a-swearing, Five broken windows! Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the tenth day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Ten joints a-smoking, Nine stitches bleeding, Eight friends passed out, Seven rats a-chewing, Six cops a-swearing, Five broken windows! Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the eleventh day of Christmas, my landlord sent to me: Eleven punks a-spitting, Ten joints a-smoking, Nine stitches bleeding, Eight friends passed out, Seven rats a-chewing, Six cops a-swearing, Five broken windows! Four rotten teeth, Three empty bottles, Two smashed-up speakers, And a final eviction notice! On the twelfth day of Christmas, the revolution gave to me: (Faster, more chaotic, screaming the final lines): TWELVE GUITARS A-FEEDING, ELEVEN PUNKS A-SPITTING, TEN JOINTS A-SMOKING, NINE STITCHES BLEEDING, EIGHT FRIENDS PASSED OUT, SEVEN RATS A-CHEWING, SIX COPS A-SWEARING, (Screamed): FIVE BROKEN WINDOWS! FOUR ROTTEN TEETH, THREE EMPTY BOTTLES, TWO SMASHED-UP SPEAKERS, AND WE BURNED THE DAMN HOUSE DOWN! (The music hits a final, explosive, chaotic chord with heavy cymbal crash and feedback, then cuts off abruptly.) (Silence.)
