A Check I Can't Cash(90's Boom-Bap Rap)

[Intro — Spoken, thoughtful]
Funny...

I used to go outside just to get high.
Now I go outside just to think.

[Verse 1 — Conversational rap, relaxed pocket]
Now I'm walking outside just so I can think,
Thinkin about my life, thinkin about how I'm broke.
Funny how I only used to go outside for a toke.
Now I go outside just to feel the breeze.

Take a little walk, sit and gaze at the trees,
Feel that nice air passing by,
There doesn't need to be any smoke,
Just to appreciate the sky.

Feel the air on my skin,
I breathe it in, it's fresh.
And when I say fresh, I don't mean a new pair of kicks,
I mean fresh like a child going outside, play with sticks.

These woods get dark and the shadows get long,
Used to drown out the silence when the quiet felt wrong.
Now I walk with my thoughts, let 'em tag along,
Got a head full of noise but my feet moving on.

Heart on my sleeve, got my thoughts on display,
I ain't dressing up the truth just to make it okay.
I can feel a little scared and still choose to stay,
Don't gotta feel fearless just to find my way.

[Chorus — Melodic rap, memorable internal rhymes]
I used to get high, thought I could fly,
But I never knew where I'd land.
Now I'm taking my time, walking my line,
Got my life back in my hands.

Not now, not now, got a son to raise,
A life to build, not a high to chase.
Maybe years from now, when he's grown and the life I've built is strong,
If I ever choose to fly, it won't be to escape what's wrong.

[Verse 2 — Tighter pocket]
Thought I'd quit all the chaos when I quit chasing highs,
But the noise got louder when I open up my eyes.
All the thoughts I kept drowning came rising inside,
'Cause you can't outrun yourself no matter how hard you try.

I was numb to the pain, now it hits me in waves,
All the things I kept buried find a way to escape.
Thought freedom meant peace, thought I'd finally feel fine,
Now I'm face-to-face with everything I left behind.

I'm battling my mind,
Yes, I'm battling all the time,
Battling all these fucking thoughts
Of every single kind.

I'm battling my cravings,
No more partying, no more raving,
All those moments I was wasting,
All those consequences I'm facing.

All the drugs that I've taken,
Now that's a check that I can't cash.
Every time I got a paycheck,
That number hit zero fast.

And now I'm looking at the money
That I know I'll never get back,
But there's something worth much more
Than any money that I had.

All the time with my son that I missed,
That's a check I can't cash.
Can't buy those moments back,
Can't put the time back in the past.

Could've saved it for his education,
Could've saved it for a house,
Instead I spent it all on something
I was trying to live without.

[Chorus — More emotional, layered vocal]
I used to get high, thought I could fly,
But I never knew where I'd land.
Now I'm taking my time, walking my line,
Got my life back in my hands.

[Verse 3 — Personal, introspective]
I need to stop smoking on these cigarettes,
I wanna be there for my son,
Don't want to leave him behind,
Don't want him feeling what I felt when I lost my mom.

And I know my mother tried her best,
I know she struggled too,
But I gotta find a better way
Than taking substances just to get through.

And I really like the shrooms,
I really like DMT,
I really like LSD,
'Cause they taught me to respect the high.

It was never just the patterns,
Never just about what I could see,
It was everything deep inside my heart
That I knew I wanted to be.

All that potential I still haven't realized,
All the things I've yet to find.
It's like I'm battling a crisis,
You could call it existential in my mind.

But if I learned something about myself,
I gotta learn to live it too,
'Cause knowing who you want to be
Ain't the same as seeing it through.

[Bridge — Beat strips down, deliberate delivery]
I feel like I've grown so much,
And I still have so much to go.
Don't ever think I'll stop learning,
Even when I know where to go.

Even if I know the final destination,
There'll always be somewhere further.

'Cause the final destination
Isn't where I end up...

It's WHO I end up.

And who I end up
Can be anywhere he wants to.

But that doesn't mean the growth has to stop,
Just because I found where I want to go to.

[Outro — Softer, returning to the opening atmosphere]
I used to get high, thought I was flying,
Now my feet are on the ground.

And maybe I don't have it all figured out,
Maybe I'm still finding my way around.

But now I'm walking outside just so I can think,
Sitting by the trees, feeling that breeze.

And for once, I don't need to escape
Just to feel a little free.

4818/7500

[Intro — Spoken, thoughtful] Funny... I used to go outside just to get high. Now I go outside just to think. [Verse 1 — Conversational rap, relaxed pocket] Now I'm walking outside just so I can think, Thinkin about my life, thinkin about how I'm broke. Funny how I only used to go outside for a toke. Now I go outside just to feel the breeze. Take a little walk, sit and gaze at the trees, Feel that nice air passing by, There doesn't need to be any smoke, Just to appreciate the sky. Feel the air on my skin, I breathe it in, it's fresh. And when I say fresh, I don't mean a new pair of kicks, I mean fresh like a child going outside, play with sticks. These woods get dark and the shadows get long, Used to drown out the silence when the quiet felt wrong. Now I walk with my thoughts, let 'em tag along, Got a head full of noise but my feet moving on. Heart on my sleeve, got my thoughts on display, I ain't dressing up the truth just to make it okay. I can feel a little scared and still choose to stay, Don't gotta feel fearless just to find my way. [Chorus — Melodic rap, memorable internal rhymes] I used to get high, thought I could fly, But I never knew where I'd land. Now I'm taking my time, walking my line, Got my life back in my hands. Not now, not now, got a son to raise, A life to build, not a high to chase. Maybe years from now, when he's grown and the life I've built is strong, If I ever choose to fly, it won't be to escape what's wrong. [Verse 2 — Tighter pocket] Thought I'd quit all the chaos when I quit chasing highs, But the noise got louder when I open up my eyes. All the thoughts I kept drowning came rising inside, 'Cause you can't outrun yourself no matter how hard you try. I was numb to the pain, now it hits me in waves, All the things I kept buried find a way to escape. Thought freedom meant peace, thought I'd finally feel fine, Now I'm face-to-face with everything I left behind. I'm battling my mind, Yes, I'm battling all the time, Battling all these fucking thoughts Of every single kind. I'm battling my cravings, No more partying, no more raving, All those moments I was wasting, All those consequences I'm facing. All the drugs that I've taken, Now that's a check that I can't cash. Every time I got a paycheck, That number hit zero fast. And now I'm looking at the money That I know I'll never get back, But there's something worth much more Than any money that I had. All the time with my son that I missed, That's a check I can't cash. Can't buy those moments back, Can't put the time back in the past. Could've saved it for his education, Could've saved it for a house, Instead I spent it all on something I was trying to live without. [Chorus — More emotional, layered vocal] I used to get high, thought I could fly, But I never knew where I'd land. Now I'm taking my time, walking my line, Got my life back in my hands. Not now, not now, got a son to raise, A life to build, not a high to chase. Maybe years from now, when he's grown and the life I've built is strong, If I ever choose to fly, it won't be to escape what's wrong. [Verse 3 — Personal, introspective] I need to stop smoking on these cigarettes, I wanna be there for my son, Don't want to leave him behind, Don't want him feeling what I felt when I lost my mom. And I know my mother tried her best, I know she struggled too, But I gotta find a better way Than taking substances just to get through. And I really like the shrooms, I really like DMT, I really like LSD, 'Cause they taught me to respect the high. It was never just the patterns, Never just about what I could see, It was everything deep inside my heart That I knew I wanted to be. All that potential I still haven't realized, All the things I've yet to find. It's like I'm battling a crisis, You could call it existential in my mind. But if I learned something about myself, I gotta learn to live it too, 'Cause knowing who you want to be Ain't the same as seeing it through. [Bridge — Beat strips down, deliberate delivery] I feel like I've grown so much, And I still have so much to go. Don't ever think I'll stop learning, Even when I know where to go. Even if I know the final destination, There'll always be somewhere further. 'Cause the final destination Isn't where I end up... It's WHO I end up. And who I end up Can be anywhere he wants to. But that doesn't mean the growth has to stop, Just because I found where I want to go to. [Outro — Softer, returning to the opening atmosphere] I used to get high, thought I was flying, Now my feet are on the ground. And maybe I don't have it all figured out, Maybe I'm still finding my way around. But now I'm walking outside just so I can think, Sitting by the trees, feeling that breeze. And for once, I don't need to escape Just to feel a little free.

0/500